I should have mentioned Jn and his bear long back.
Jn is the new German boy who when admitted to this school in September, had looked to us like Mk.
He is a cute, sturdy little blond boy who loves doing everything.
He had a little stuffed teddy bear which he loved to carry around with him wrapped in his mother's grape green top. We always found it funny how he used to carry it constantly with him wherever he went and when he wanted to play on swings or eat or do something else, he would put it aside face covered, saying the bear was sleeping now.
It was all cute until the bear started dominating his life altogether.
He began displaying a tendency to be inseparable with the bear and all situations which demanded his hands to be free of the toy, he would break into cry and would keep on crying until he had retrieved his bear. In the playground he would drop the bear accidentally and then cry badly until he had found it. The same while carrying it to toilets. We reasoned with him that he needed to keep the bear in class while going to the toilet or the playground but it was impossible.
Soon it was just the bear with him and nothing else. He started refusing doing any art and craft activity, would keep clutching it even while sitting on the toilet seat, refused going to play or on the swings or in sand and refused eating too. Telling him to do a certain thing always invited loud weepings and howlings and he would hide his face in the bear abd cry and cry till we told him he needn't do, or take away his bear and tell him he will get it back when he had stopped crying.
Some days went by and instead of any improvement or change in his behavior he just kept getting worse and worse. He would do nothing in class, no enjoyment, no activity, no play or reading just crying, crying and crying. I discussed it with Cl and and told her we needed to call his parents and talk but she didn't appear to be alarmed. His parents always come late so I myself was not able to talk to them.
On the St. Martin's celebration evening, I saw his mother and discussed the whole thing. She was concerned. I advised her to keep him without the toy in school but let us have it in secret just in case he becomes too difficult. She did so and that day for the first time Jn started stammering in class. He had never done so before so we knew he was perfectly capable of speaking normally. That day I got to talk to his mother again and she told me she was really worried if he has speech problems as often times he stammers at home too.
Now the parents knew that there was a problem with their son.
They decided that that was the end of the bear in the school. Jn was very disconsolate and would cry a lot. Sometimes we ignored his cries and make him sit separately or distract his mind and we started noticing improvements in his behavior.
Last week I was absent and Cl too and his father who drops him to school everyday realized that we are better able to handle Jn rather than other teachers; naturally he wanted us to be there to receive Jn every morning. He complained to Cl that he often doesn't see his teachers in the morning which is bad for the children as they are better handled by them.
We both were so incensed with this remark. Of all the teachers in the school Cl is the only one who never takes leave and in one and a half year she has only taken about 3-4 days leaves altogether. I do take 1-2 day leave almost every two month or so but that doesn't mean that the children are alone because there are always two teachers in the group to handle them. ( Forget those two days when I managed alone. That had happened for the first and also the last time)
It is funny that every other group has sometimes been without their English teacher for nearly 2 months but nobody has complained there while I and Cl have always been in the school ever since we joined and we are being told that we are not! It had happened the first time that both Cl and I both were absent together on account of illness which is unavoidable. Maybe, he noticed that often times I am not in the school, only Cl and the other teachers, at the time of dropping Jn but than my timing are different: 9 am-2 pm. I am told not to enter the class before 9 am....
I will talk to him. I announced.
The next morning I specially went early to be able to meet his father. When I saw him and told him politely that he needn't feel concerned and explained everything; my different timings, our illness together and the fact that we never take leave and always there in the school. He admitted that he wasn't complaining and it was only a remark as Jn behaved horribly and screamed and screamed the three days when I and Cl both had been absent.
The day we had Ll's birthday, he was crying badly again and screamed till his entire face and even the ears turned livid red. He wanted to sit alone by himself and didn't want to attend the party. I was alone with Asy and Asy doesn't have much experience with the kids. I forcibly brought him to the birthday table. Within 5-10 minutes he forgot his sulk and started enjoying just like the other children. He happy smiling face was clearly visible in the photographs which I had shot and mailed.
His parents were curious to see him happy and they asked me how he was now and gave the full report how he has started behaving normally now. He just cries in the morning out of stubbornness but when distracted he becomes happy in two seconds and then remains happy the whole day.
His father was very happy and relieved to hear this.
"Why does he cry so much?" He asked.
"Just to frighten us into doing what he wants."
"But he doesn't cry so much at home. Whatever he wants we are always there to meet it."
"That's exactly why he has got into this habit. He probably thinks whatever he wants he should get it. When he doesn't, he cries. It is important for him know that he can't do whatever he wants."
Jn is the new German boy who when admitted to this school in September, had looked to us like Mk.
He is a cute, sturdy little blond boy who loves doing everything.
He had a little stuffed teddy bear which he loved to carry around with him wrapped in his mother's grape green top. We always found it funny how he used to carry it constantly with him wherever he went and when he wanted to play on swings or eat or do something else, he would put it aside face covered, saying the bear was sleeping now.
It was all cute until the bear started dominating his life altogether.
He began displaying a tendency to be inseparable with the bear and all situations which demanded his hands to be free of the toy, he would break into cry and would keep on crying until he had retrieved his bear. In the playground he would drop the bear accidentally and then cry badly until he had found it. The same while carrying it to toilets. We reasoned with him that he needed to keep the bear in class while going to the toilet or the playground but it was impossible.
Soon it was just the bear with him and nothing else. He started refusing doing any art and craft activity, would keep clutching it even while sitting on the toilet seat, refused going to play or on the swings or in sand and refused eating too. Telling him to do a certain thing always invited loud weepings and howlings and he would hide his face in the bear abd cry and cry till we told him he needn't do, or take away his bear and tell him he will get it back when he had stopped crying.
Some days went by and instead of any improvement or change in his behavior he just kept getting worse and worse. He would do nothing in class, no enjoyment, no activity, no play or reading just crying, crying and crying. I discussed it with Cl and and told her we needed to call his parents and talk but she didn't appear to be alarmed. His parents always come late so I myself was not able to talk to them.
On the St. Martin's celebration evening, I saw his mother and discussed the whole thing. She was concerned. I advised her to keep him without the toy in school but let us have it in secret just in case he becomes too difficult. She did so and that day for the first time Jn started stammering in class. He had never done so before so we knew he was perfectly capable of speaking normally. That day I got to talk to his mother again and she told me she was really worried if he has speech problems as often times he stammers at home too.
Now the parents knew that there was a problem with their son.
They decided that that was the end of the bear in the school. Jn was very disconsolate and would cry a lot. Sometimes we ignored his cries and make him sit separately or distract his mind and we started noticing improvements in his behavior.
Last week I was absent and Cl too and his father who drops him to school everyday realized that we are better able to handle Jn rather than other teachers; naturally he wanted us to be there to receive Jn every morning. He complained to Cl that he often doesn't see his teachers in the morning which is bad for the children as they are better handled by them.
We both were so incensed with this remark. Of all the teachers in the school Cl is the only one who never takes leave and in one and a half year she has only taken about 3-4 days leaves altogether. I do take 1-2 day leave almost every two month or so but that doesn't mean that the children are alone because there are always two teachers in the group to handle them. ( Forget those two days when I managed alone. That had happened for the first and also the last time)
It is funny that every other group has sometimes been without their English teacher for nearly 2 months but nobody has complained there while I and Cl have always been in the school ever since we joined and we are being told that we are not! It had happened the first time that both Cl and I both were absent together on account of illness which is unavoidable. Maybe, he noticed that often times I am not in the school, only Cl and the other teachers, at the time of dropping Jn but than my timing are different: 9 am-2 pm. I am told not to enter the class before 9 am....
I will talk to him. I announced.
The next morning I specially went early to be able to meet his father. When I saw him and told him politely that he needn't feel concerned and explained everything; my different timings, our illness together and the fact that we never take leave and always there in the school. He admitted that he wasn't complaining and it was only a remark as Jn behaved horribly and screamed and screamed the three days when I and Cl both had been absent.
The day we had Ll's birthday, he was crying badly again and screamed till his entire face and even the ears turned livid red. He wanted to sit alone by himself and didn't want to attend the party. I was alone with Asy and Asy doesn't have much experience with the kids. I forcibly brought him to the birthday table. Within 5-10 minutes he forgot his sulk and started enjoying just like the other children. He happy smiling face was clearly visible in the photographs which I had shot and mailed.
His parents were curious to see him happy and they asked me how he was now and gave the full report how he has started behaving normally now. He just cries in the morning out of stubbornness but when distracted he becomes happy in two seconds and then remains happy the whole day.
His father was very happy and relieved to hear this.
"Why does he cry so much?" He asked.
"Just to frighten us into doing what he wants."
"But he doesn't cry so much at home. Whatever he wants we are always there to meet it."
"That's exactly why he has got into this habit. He probably thinks whatever he wants he should get it. When he doesn't, he cries. It is important for him know that he can't do whatever he wants."
