Update on Cl

A whole month has fled past since Cl's departure. Everything is wonderful here in school and I have enough reasons to believe that in fact my life is nicer than before. I am being treated and regarded as an authority by Stfn, the others in the staff as well as the parents something which Cl had always tried hard keeping that to herself. Stfn always consults me before doing anything and the other staff members do the same which was not the case when Cl was there. 

The first week after she went away, I mailed her and she immediately mailed me back. One weeks later I casually mailed her again but received no reply from her. I thought maybe she was busy in shifting or settling in her new household; maybe she didn't find timeeven to check her mail. However I am constrained to change my opinion now as both Asy and Stfn told me they had both called her and talked to her phone and that she was getting stressed in hunting for a new job. In fact, both Asy and Stfn were thinking I must be knowing more about her latest updates as I was closer to her than the others. It was so humiliating to tell them that I haven't even been replied back.

Another example of Cl's spurious farcical love for me! And still everyday when I check my mail I always hope to find her reply....

The advantage of challenge

Today Stfn asked me if whatever she was doing for the class, as the new teacher, was sufficient or she needed to do something more.
"And more important than that, I need to know if you are happy and comfortable with me. Your happiness and comfort is the only thing that I care about."

I loved her for this. I told her that she was being more than excellent and I could not have wished for more. " And it is surprising that I have been thinking the very same thing too about you, that, you should be happy and comfortable - everything else comes second. By the way, you have been amazing me and everybody else in the school by being incredulously active, energetic, sprightly and almost running around. I am sure nobody could say anything against you now. Not only this, you even look totally immersed in kids and kid's work!"

And I am genuinely happy for her. She visibly works hard for our morning lessons. Today she had purchased fresh fruits, vegetables and bread from the market which she showed to all the children and then we prepared a breakfast with the same. It was a lot of work and I was touched to see that was striving hard to keep up with the new standard that is now required of her. She indeed thinks it's all high and dry toil but what she doesn't know is that it is doing truck loads of good to her body and mind. When you are too comfortable at work it kills your talent, your drive and your challenge. You sort of fall in a  state of torpor which you think is bliss but is actually the opposite. If you want to be a sharp knife, you have to keep cutting....

"All this running around gives me a bit of stress; maybe I should slow down.." She mused.
"Absolutely not." I cried vehemently. "Little stresses are good for us; they distract our minds away from the bigger stresses of life."

Stfn

I learnt a great deal about Stfn the workshop day.

She was great friends with Ad ( the Spanish English teacher who was fired and was replaced by Mks) and in relationship with her brother. Together they planned an exotic trip to the Caribbean during the school's summer vacation. At the time of their return, some misunderstanding ensued between Ad and Stfn. Ad wasn't clear in her instructions to reach the airport. They all three somehow managed to miss their flight by 3-4 hours! Their were no immediate flights available. They had to put up in a costly resort for three extra days. The worst part of the story is, poor Stfn was made to realize that it was her fault they missed their flight so she had to pay for everyone's next flight home as well as the entire expenditure of that extra stay in resort. She not only became bankrupt but hugely indebted too.
A month later she heard Ad's brother got married to someone else without even informing her. Ad herself turned completely against her and demanded an additional 2000/- Euros from Stfn telling she has to pay them as they were incurred because of her.

Poor Stfn! She lost her friend, love, money, bank balance and peace of mind all in one stroke. She is still paying off the loans. Apart from this, she has other problems too. Her sister is in an abusive relationship. Her husband hits her black and blue and has twice broken the bones of his own baby. Currently he is jail for this. Her family problems weigh heavily on her mind and she constantly feels pressured to protect and defend her family like a head. That takes an additional toll on her life and health.
"Since eight years I have not been in any relationship. My health and youth all is deteriorating. I wonder why am I not able to get a man for myself."
Currently she has become friends with another man but he went to Canada and she has no idea if this friendship would ever materialize in a long lasting love for which she is pining.
I proceeded to tell her my own weird story of getting married and she stared at me open mouthed.
"But how can you marry someone you do not even know?"
"Why not?" I retorted. "When you marry someone you do not very well know, everyday of life becomes a day of new discoveries, new passions, new surprises and love starts germinating and growing just as a seedling becomes a plant and then gradually a tree."

I was very very sorry to hear her tragedy. I couldn't get all this out of mind the whole night and kept wondering what can I do to help her.

This Friday, she is celebrating her birthday in school and I, being her team mate, have to buy present for her.
On Ndn's recommendation I have bought luxury bath bombs for her which have glitters in them. Tomorrow maybe, I will get her a cd or something.

Whatever, I always try to motivate her, appreciate her, counsel her and be very loving and caring for her in my own way. maybe because of this or any other reason which I do not know, but there is a lot of difference in her looks, attitude and behavior. She looks a lot happier and active now. She takes a lot of interest in class activities, lesson plans, class decoration etc. She doesn't seem to cower like a mouse in front of any body now but really seem to be immersing herself in her work as I had told her to and it is working.
She admitted this too since a week she has been feeling very nice and happy. Yesterday she was talking to her friend on phone and he remarked that he was hearing her laugh after a long long time. And then she paused and realized that indeed it was true!

Workshop Mess

We had to have two teacher training workshops in school due to which the school was closed down for two days. Parents were grumbling because they had to employ nanny or take leave from work to look after their children.

Well, so today was the workshop. One hour before the workshop was the staff breakfast time. They ate and ate and ate. They really eat a very big breakfast which makes sense as all the food gets quickly digested while working during the day. It was Monday so I was on fast and didn't eat anything.
It being a day without the children all the teachers especially the ladies had come prettily dressed. Stfn and I were also in short tight skirts. My was in a long tight skirt however she forgot she was in a skirt and sat comfortably with her legs wide apart flashing her inner thighs in full public view for nearly 2 hrs or so off and on....

Five minutes to ten, we moved over to Mz's room for the workshop. A lady from some institution was coming to do it. We were sitting in full readiness to start the moment the lady showed in. We even lit the decorative candle on the center table which we had laid out with juice, water and some refreshments.
Little by little the minutes crept by until it was ten, then fifteen then twenty, and then thirty minutes past ten and there was no sign of her.  Mz and My went to ring her and then we discovered the poor thing had been ringing the school mobile since two hrs but her phone was never picked up. Tired she sent an email stating her inability to come today on account of fever.
"So our workshop is cancelled," Announced Mz brazenly, "Instead we are going to have a regular meeting now."
With a groan we settled down to have a regular staff meeting in which the only interesting thing was My's thighs! I guess, Mks and Jrn were having the time of their life! We discussed what to do for Easters as usual amidst chaos and senseless, irrelevant discussion. And then Mz dramatically announced that we were going for a cartoon movie.

We all started out together from the school building. Mz and My were the last ones to come out apparently as they had to check if the doors and windows etc were properly locked. We were all walking together yet somehow within a few minutes all the others all got ahead while My and Mz were behind. I was behind as well because of H who couldn't walk very fast to match the adult pace. And Gbt, out of her own wish chose to walk with Mz and My.
"How disrespectful of them." Mz flashed a disdainful glance at them walking about 4-5 meters ahead of us. She looked like she was boiling inside. "We invited them and they are so insulting that they don't even want to walk together with us."

By the time we reached the station, there was no sign of the others much to Mz's worsening temper.
There were two ways of reaching the theater, one nearer, direct and quicker, the other, a little bit farther and  a few minutes longer. The others had naturally taken the former route and we would have done the same but Mz decided she wanted to take the latter one.
"I am so angry with them. Look at their disrespect! They are so horrible! They didn't even wait for us to catch up. I have a good mind to not to buy their tickets at all and let them struggle to pay for their own movie tickets individually. We are the managers but we get no respect from them at all." Mz ranted.

We reached the theater and glimpsed the others in the hall, laughing and merry with no inkling of the storm of wrath they had inadvertently raked up in Mz and My.
"Oh, there you are!" Someone from the group hailed pleasantly.
"I want to talk to you all first."

Unfortunately, I could never know what she talked to them as H started crying just then and I had to take him out of the ticket counter. I desperately wondered what she said to them or if she threatened to cancel purchasing their tickets as she had been revengefully wanting to do. Apparently, nothing happened and we all watched the movie comfortably enough with Mks laughed his head off at the comic episodes: he was the the loudest one and also the only one to do so at times!

The movie over,we said goodbye to each other and went our own ways: Mk, Ndn and Stfn together, Jrn, Mcl and Mks together for a beer and Mz, My and Gbt for a cup of coffee...!

Tomorrow is a holiday but we have been instructed not to tell this to the parents; the parents only know that the school is closed due to teacher training workshop. If they come to know it is just a holiday without any purpose they would be so angry! I know many of them had to make difficult, complicated or even expensive arrangements to care for their children because of this untimely school shut down.

When we were still in the school, prior to coming to the theater, Stf had come in for a brief time. She told us grievously that she had just suffered a great loss of eleven thousand Euros! She was given a cheque of eleven thousand Euros and it turned out that the bank didn't even exist!
Mz and My told me about this incident.
"11,000 Euros! That's a lot!" I exclaimed in horror. "I am so sorry for Stf."
"I am not sorry for her." Mz replied mercilessly. "It is her fault. Why did she trust a stranger? She should have made inquiries first before accepting a cheque of such a colossus amount. If we ask for a mere hundred Euros, she says she doesn't have money and she can lose 11000/-. She should learn a lesson."

Bad blood between Mks and Stfn

Today I asked Stfn how was her doctor appointment yesterday.

"How surprising! I was sitting in this room for more than one hour and no one, not even one of them asked me about me. You are the only one to do so."
"Well, that doesn't really mean anything. I just want to know what did your doctor say about your ear."
She told me her appointment lasted three hours! the doctor made several tests and found out that she has a nerve in neck or spine which has turned which is causing her all the trouble. She has now been advised to not to lift heavy things, sleep on a special pillow, do some neck exercise and avoid stress.
"Its easier said than done. There is so much of stress in my life. I can't avoid it."
"Yes, you can. I won't let you have any stress here. Be calm and cool and don't worry about anything. How about going out on Saturday evening to a restaurant? We will just relax and chill..."
She was surprised but happy and she accepted my invitation.

I am noticing since yesterday, that she has begun working more vigorously and looks more charged, interested and enthusiastic.

While I was in the sleeping room and Stfn was also there putting Nn and Mnt to sleep, Mks came in. He wanted to talk to me. We went out of the room as he didn't want to talk in front of Stfn. I told him that I had noticed he uses "naughty" word way too much with the kids and it is not allowed as this word is a negative word which makes the children feel aggressive, depressed, insulted and shamed. Further more they pick up this word rather fast and start using it on the other children which is even more hazardous. I also told him that Bhv's mother had mentioned it to me that Bhv often refuses to go to school because he feels afraid of being called naughty by you and many times he inadvertently does  poo or pee in his clothes because he is too scared to tell you for fear of being called naughty. At home he goes into depression telling his mama that "Mks called me a naughty boy!" And the last reason was, nearly all the children in my group have started calling each other "naughty naughty" in just the same way as he does.
"But I have never used this word for any of your kids, only with Ptrk and Schr." He protested.
"Yes, I know, but when you are using this word on Ptrk or Schr the other kids listen and catch on.

He was exasperated.
"What to do when kids do turn naughty! Its not like I am insulting them or angry with them. I just point out to them that what they are doing is unacceptable."
"Yes I know, but using this word can get you in far more serious trouble. If a kid does get naughty, tell him in ugly tones that it is bad and we don't do like this."
"Hmmmm ya, maybe..."
"I have long been wanting to tell you this but I was so scared of offending you. I hope I didn't hurt you, did I?"
The clouds on his countenance cleared and he smiled at me warmly. "No, not at all. I am glad you told me so now I would try to rectify my mistake."

Later, when Stfn had gone, he came in again and started chatting to me like he always does with me.
He told me that when he heard Stfn was replacing Cl he was so afraid for me because he knew Stfn has reputation of being lazy and evading work; he feared that I would have a hard time with her as she would make me do all the hard part and take all the easy part herself. "She is very bad. I don't like her."
"Why do you talk about her like this? I think you don't know her very well. Well, I don't know her very well either but I know enough to refute you that she is not a bad person. On the contrary she is a very nice person."
"I am glad she is nice to you. The truth is she has no sense of how to behave with her colleagues. She is extremely rude and arrogant. I hate the way she talks to me sometimes."
"Maybe it is her just her way of talking and not her intention?"
"What nonsense. She was caught red handed sleeping in the baby room with all the babies up and about. I don't know how you have found her to be amazing. Every morning when she comes she talks as if she condescended to accept your group when the reality is like an open book that she was dying to stay in the baby group. In fact, do you even know what else she did? She was writing mails to parents telling them to write a mail to Stf the boss to send her back to her group otherwise they will withdraw their children from the school. She was talking to parents and instigating them against the school. I was the one who rang Stf to inform her all this as it all happened right under my nose."

I sighed deeply.
"So there is a lot of bad blood between you and her, eh? I only remember a principal: We are here to work and not make friends - or enemies. If she is working fine with me I see no reason why I must condemn her or treat her with distrust or disdain. And I am sure, soon you will also begin to think of her in a better light..I mean I hope so..."

It was time for him to go.
"Hey, its so nice to talk to you. I really miss our conversations which we had when we were together in the gym area with our groups."

Later I glimpsed him and Stfn talking outside the green room. Stfn looked defiant and incensed and Mks appeared to be telling her "not to use  this word as it affects the children negatively and is unacceptable in the kindergarten..."
What the heck?

Tomorrow I and Stfn are going for an evening out in an Indian restaurant. I really want her to get stress free and become happy.

A tete - a - tete with Stfn

Today I was talking to Stfn and I found she is such a fragile, emotional, insecure, frightened person beneath her tough, determined, confident looks.  

She told me she had once suffered from bulimia and her plus size makes her feel afraid of herself. She doesn't like looking into mirrors and have no idea how she must appear in the eyes of the others. She is very often depressed and distressed and suffers from variety of other ailments due to her depression.

I told her she looks extremely smart and confident and despite being a plus size she has a damn good dressing and makeup sense and some times looks absolutely stunning. She was so surprised to hear this.

Why are so surprised?' I asked. "Did no one tell you this before?"

"No. Probably I don't live amongst people who pay compliments."

Whatever My had told to me about Stfn a few days ago was weighing heavily on my heart since many days. I decided I should tell her. She wasn't surprised. She knew it already. 

"But, I wasn't sleeping in my work time. It was my free time. As it is they think I am not active enogh with the children which is wrong because working with babies is different; it doesn't require a great deal of energy or movement."

"I don't care in the least whether you were sleeping in your free time or work time. So do not consider explaining it to me. So far as I am concerned I am glad I have you and not someone else. I know what a good teacher is and I know one when I see one. Earlier, I didn't know anything about your teaching caliber. Ever since you came to my group I noticed how nice you are with the kids, how methodical you are in your approach towards child education, and that despite having worked with babies before you appear to be equally good in handling bigger children. I know you hated and stiffly resisted moving out from the baby group but it is in a way better for you. You are lot more active now and you exercise your capabilities more than when you were in the baby group. Human brain is like a knife; it needs constant work or it will rust and become useless. When I see you working nicely with the bigger kids, I tell myself, this is what you need. You need challenging situations to prove your mettle and to keep your self from rusting away"

"Its not the first time I am working with bigger children. Before coming to this kindergarten I have worked with different age groups."

"Really? I didn't know this before. Definitely your experience shows."

"What does it matter? All the three bosses of this school, Stf, My and Mz do not like me. Especially My and Mz visibly hate me. In the afternoon, when I have to be in My's room together with Gbt, and Mks, I feel so very scared even to open my mouth. I just sit quietly in a corner of the room and mutely do whatever they tell me to. I am just too scared in their presence. I only nice and comfortable with you, Ndn and Mko."

"That's where you are committing a mistake." I pointed out. "They all think you are not active. By being scared and hiding in one corner you are just conforming their suspicion. And why should you be sacred and of whom? Stfn, you are a good teacher and as such instead of hiding yourself in one corner I suggest you do your work with even greater vigor. Do your best and lose yourself in your work. You will feel nicer and the others will shut their mouth."

Today there was meeting the school but I excused myself out of it on account of my Hindu festival and Stfn too didn't attend as she had her doctor appointment. She has pain in her neck and she can't hear from one ear whereas constantly hears a dull bell ring in her other one. 

Without Stfn

I joined the school today only to learn that now Stfn is absent. yesterday she had her birthday and fell ill. She won't be here the whole week now.

So Rfk was sent to help me out; she is a married woman with two kids and a trainee in our school. We were surprised to see that all our kids behaved exceptionally well, including the two new babies Nn and Mtn. And this fact was not hidden even from Rfk.
"Yesterday Stfn and I were with the kids and the whole time it was just plain chaos." Said Rfk. "She was trying to read a story to the child but nobody listened to her. They kept playing and roaming about until she got fed up and shut the book in the middle. She cannot control the children as well as you do. And the biggest thing is both Nn and Mtn actually behave badly when she is present."

This is a fact I had long before foreseen. Stfn is excellent with babies but that also means that she babyishes them way too much than required, I mean the older ones. For instance, both Mnt and Nn have been with her since more than a year but I always saw them as sticking close to her and emotionally completely dependent on her - something which is more akin to over indulging, over attached, over loving parents than a professional teacher in a kindergarten. As a teacher we need to make children independent both emotionally as well as physically and not tied to our apron strings. So both Mtn and Nn are used to being treated like babies and so they continue behaving like one even when they are now old enough. Little Nn constantly sucks her pacifier and keeps carrying her burp cloth 24 hours a day although she is well past both of them. I tried keeping her without her pacifier and her burp cloth and she was just fine! She didn't even once ask for them.

I had more difficulties controlling both of them with Stfn present than now when she was absent.
These two are the children for whom Stfn had refused to leave her baby group; she had been telling since nearly 2 months that both Nn and Mtn were not ready to live without her so they shouldn't be sent to the next group and when she was asked to join my group, she continued saying that Mtn and Nn couldn't live without her so finally Stf the boss decided Stfn must come to my group with both Mtn and Nn! I am sure Stfn will feel terribly bad when she hears that Mtn and Nn both have been such good babies without her. In fact they didn't even once ask for her. Everybody is noticing this and talking about it.

Today Stfn was absent again and Mks was sent to me to help me out. I noticed he was getting a bit stressed probably because he is more used to and definitely more suitable for bigger children rather than little toddlers who take offence easily if you as much as happen to look a bit hard on them or talk to them in a loud volume. He wasn't very great a help to me either as when we were in the toilet he preferred calming down Ls who was crying for his mother rather than help change diapers. It took me soo long to manage all the children alone while he was simply talking to Ls. Later when we returned from the playground, he had planned to go back to his group and send Rfk  to me but My came and told me that Mks must remain with me till the lunch time.
It sounded simple and not in the least offensive so far as I could see, but Mks turned so upset with My for making him stay with my group.
"But what's wrong in this?" I asked. "We can be sent to any group anytime depending on the need of the hour. Rfk cannot come to me today because she has her exam. It won't hurt you to stay in any other group due to shortage of teachers in school, no?"
"Ya, I know, but I wanted to be with my children. I belong to my group."

Both Mtn and Nn are absolutely fine. I took away Nn's burp cloth and pacifier and she didn't seem to miss them at all. However, when Stfn comes back, I fear, they both will revert to their old ways, and since our team is new, I would prefer not to sound didactic to her.