I am a lot disturbed now...since a few days. Discontent is eating my heart out.
It is unsettling for my dignity, self respect, pride and ego. I am not just a qualified and an experienced teacher; I am also a gifted, talented, skilled, versatile and an expert teacher. I cannot digest my humiliation at the hands of my juniors or even inferiors.
I cannot forget that when I and Cl had joined this school about a year ago within one month of each other, Cl had been literally nothing. She was just ultra sweet, polite, docile and a loving teacher but other than that she had no skills, no knowledge on how to deal with different types of kids, different types of parents, how to solve children's problems within the group or biggest thing- how and what to teach them. She didn't even know how to teach songs to the children, what content should be appropriate for 2-3 years old and why involving parents was so necessary.
The happy and successful one academic session which we produced last year was entirely of my shaping and construction. I formulated policies, chalked out strategies wrote the whole syllabus and decided and demonstrated what to teach and how. She worked under my guidance and I lead the group virtually. There was my name on the group file.
A year later things are changing. Cl, sometimes, appears to be getting particular about the lead role. It was me who wrote long informative newsletter emails to parents but now she tries to reserve them for herself knowing the parents will think it is her effort. She also reserves plenty of group and kindergarten news to be written only in her mails. When we started our second group and had no email group for parents, I insisted and indicated how we could continue sending the mails to parents. She followed it and took the whole credit.
She often takes pictures from her baby camera and mails them to parents. I respected her idea and didn't want to copy her. Now no matter what, she cannot let me do it. She has never said so - but you know how she will do it.
The still bigger things are, she does all the talking to the parents now. I leave early and most parents come at a later time to pick up their children but I am noticing that even those parents who do come early gets hogged by her. Very soon, no one will be aware there is also an English teacher for this group!
My heart has begun to ache now. I am losing the pleasure in my work, and the will to do better and better in school everyday. I hadn't felt so disheartened even with the Christmas Play episode last year. I suddenly want to resign or stop working here. Cl is a good learner. In one year she has learnt a lot from me to be able to roll out plenty of successful groups year after year and the type of person that she is she will get better and better. Whereas, I with all my capabilities and degrees have only been able to work as an underpaid trainee who cannot be trusted enough even be left alone with the children...!
S says I shouldn't think in this way only. I should count myself extremely lucky that I got someone like Cl to work with who was docile enough to let me do what I wanted and followed me faithfully everywhere. Suppose I had got Mz or My who are notorious for being over dominating, silly, foolish, making other's life hell and getting every teacher under them ultimately fired?
S is getting fed up with his present position in Germany too and he has already started hunting for change of scene. I am praying now that I retire from this school soon now.
It is unsettling for my dignity, self respect, pride and ego. I am not just a qualified and an experienced teacher; I am also a gifted, talented, skilled, versatile and an expert teacher. I cannot digest my humiliation at the hands of my juniors or even inferiors.
I cannot forget that when I and Cl had joined this school about a year ago within one month of each other, Cl had been literally nothing. She was just ultra sweet, polite, docile and a loving teacher but other than that she had no skills, no knowledge on how to deal with different types of kids, different types of parents, how to solve children's problems within the group or biggest thing- how and what to teach them. She didn't even know how to teach songs to the children, what content should be appropriate for 2-3 years old and why involving parents was so necessary.
The happy and successful one academic session which we produced last year was entirely of my shaping and construction. I formulated policies, chalked out strategies wrote the whole syllabus and decided and demonstrated what to teach and how. She worked under my guidance and I lead the group virtually. There was my name on the group file.
A year later things are changing. Cl, sometimes, appears to be getting particular about the lead role. It was me who wrote long informative newsletter emails to parents but now she tries to reserve them for herself knowing the parents will think it is her effort. She also reserves plenty of group and kindergarten news to be written only in her mails. When we started our second group and had no email group for parents, I insisted and indicated how we could continue sending the mails to parents. She followed it and took the whole credit.
She often takes pictures from her baby camera and mails them to parents. I respected her idea and didn't want to copy her. Now no matter what, she cannot let me do it. She has never said so - but you know how she will do it.
The still bigger things are, she does all the talking to the parents now. I leave early and most parents come at a later time to pick up their children but I am noticing that even those parents who do come early gets hogged by her. Very soon, no one will be aware there is also an English teacher for this group!
My heart has begun to ache now. I am losing the pleasure in my work, and the will to do better and better in school everyday. I hadn't felt so disheartened even with the Christmas Play episode last year. I suddenly want to resign or stop working here. Cl is a good learner. In one year she has learnt a lot from me to be able to roll out plenty of successful groups year after year and the type of person that she is she will get better and better. Whereas, I with all my capabilities and degrees have only been able to work as an underpaid trainee who cannot be trusted enough even be left alone with the children...!
S says I shouldn't think in this way only. I should count myself extremely lucky that I got someone like Cl to work with who was docile enough to let me do what I wanted and followed me faithfully everywhere. Suppose I had got Mz or My who are notorious for being over dominating, silly, foolish, making other's life hell and getting every teacher under them ultimately fired?
S is getting fed up with his present position in Germany too and he has already started hunting for change of scene. I am praying now that I retire from this school soon now.
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