Since yesterday, I just couldn't kick this idea off my mind how could I have been so ignorant until now. I should have paid more attention to all those clues screaming at my face.
I resolved to wear my broadest smiles on my face today and to smile at everyone even though the four police men of the system give you the creepy feeling that they don't just dislike you, they clearly hate you and suspect you for committing a murder any minute.
I met Jas at the station. She wanted to talk to me too. She is another one getting slow poisoned by the environs of this kindergarten. How I wish I could to her too. I can't. She is friend of Mrn and a great great gossip. Talking to her means broadcasting live!
Jn and I were just about to start our morning routine when I learnt Mrn was going home. Before saying Good bye, she casually mentioned to Jn that if any problem arose she could mail her or talk to her. Yes, in other words it meant that she was authorizing her to take control and to privately report any wrong doing. Not soo bad, but how do I know what and how correct is she reporting? Would it not have been better for her to say that we three should work together and discuss with each other if anyone of us is not sure how to do something?
I had one and half hour preparation time. I was so wary of Jn that I returned earlier so that she couldn't say that I overstayed to enjoy myself leaving her alone.
At twelve 0'clock, I went to the Green group to help due to shortage of teachers there. Grch is a hard working teacher but hugely targeted by the police men in much the same way as myself.
"Grch," said I, "you work so hard with the children and come up with such new ideas! I appreciate this."
"Thanks," she smiled, " you are also just like this. It is so unfair that other teachers treat you so badly especially your own group."
I was stunned. I did know deep in my heart that I was being treated somewhat badly; I didn't know it was a common knowledge and that everyone knew it.
I caught hold of Lnd later. She is another nice girl in the hapless Green group. Her heart is not exactly into kindergarten life and definitely has no teaching aptitude.She had admitted many time to me in the past that she can't handle the stress that this place, at times, gives her.
I implored her to tell me if she knew what people talked about me.
"Well, they say you are irresponsible because you can't be trusted to do do what you say you will do. That's because sometime in the past you took leaves and didn't inform them on time. Then they say that you don't really understand what you are told to do. Once there was that incident with inadequate dressing of a child from your group."
I was upset. Terribly upset at this. I took a leave and couldn't inform them on time as I was sleeping under the sedative effects of the medicines. It was a medical emergency. The inadequate dressing occurred just once with me. The other times it happened with Loz not me.
I came back to my group more enlightened on the situation than ever before.
I asked Jn several times if everything was alright. She said yes. You can trust her to say yes and then write a 100 page email to Mrn detailing what crimes I and Loz committed in her absence. As a precautionary step, before leaving the kindergarten, I wrote in the Daily Dairy things that we did so Jn doesn't have the chance to weave lies.
Power game or no power game, I stubbornly refuse to participate. I believe in doing my job honestly and happily. Its like dung beetles fighting, struggling, killing and dying for the sake of what? Yeah. A dung ball. For us it is just a dung ball, for them it is their life, their world, the very meaning and center of their existence.
The world far too much abounds in hypocrites who hug and kiss you like the Judases of the Bible. I am afraid I am no match for this. All the abilities that I have, I have always employed them to acquire abilities and to perfect them. I never did learn Politics and probably never will. Its a sad case and I do not want to lose out to treachery and deceit.
I have always had just this one simple policy. Win your enemies with love. Defeat them with honesty and good work. This cannot harm anybody; at the most it can only harm me. The road is difficult but I would rather be right and fail than be wrong and succeed.
I resolved to wear my broadest smiles on my face today and to smile at everyone even though the four police men of the system give you the creepy feeling that they don't just dislike you, they clearly hate you and suspect you for committing a murder any minute.
I met Jas at the station. She wanted to talk to me too. She is another one getting slow poisoned by the environs of this kindergarten. How I wish I could to her too. I can't. She is friend of Mrn and a great great gossip. Talking to her means broadcasting live!
Jn and I were just about to start our morning routine when I learnt Mrn was going home. Before saying Good bye, she casually mentioned to Jn that if any problem arose she could mail her or talk to her. Yes, in other words it meant that she was authorizing her to take control and to privately report any wrong doing. Not soo bad, but how do I know what and how correct is she reporting? Would it not have been better for her to say that we three should work together and discuss with each other if anyone of us is not sure how to do something?
I had one and half hour preparation time. I was so wary of Jn that I returned earlier so that she couldn't say that I overstayed to enjoy myself leaving her alone.
At twelve 0'clock, I went to the Green group to help due to shortage of teachers there. Grch is a hard working teacher but hugely targeted by the police men in much the same way as myself.
"Grch," said I, "you work so hard with the children and come up with such new ideas! I appreciate this."
"Thanks," she smiled, " you are also just like this. It is so unfair that other teachers treat you so badly especially your own group."
I was stunned. I did know deep in my heart that I was being treated somewhat badly; I didn't know it was a common knowledge and that everyone knew it.
I caught hold of Lnd later. She is another nice girl in the hapless Green group. Her heart is not exactly into kindergarten life and definitely has no teaching aptitude.She had admitted many time to me in the past that she can't handle the stress that this place, at times, gives her.
I implored her to tell me if she knew what people talked about me.
"Well, they say you are irresponsible because you can't be trusted to do do what you say you will do. That's because sometime in the past you took leaves and didn't inform them on time. Then they say that you don't really understand what you are told to do. Once there was that incident with inadequate dressing of a child from your group."
I was upset. Terribly upset at this. I took a leave and couldn't inform them on time as I was sleeping under the sedative effects of the medicines. It was a medical emergency. The inadequate dressing occurred just once with me. The other times it happened with Loz not me.
I came back to my group more enlightened on the situation than ever before.
I asked Jn several times if everything was alright. She said yes. You can trust her to say yes and then write a 100 page email to Mrn detailing what crimes I and Loz committed in her absence. As a precautionary step, before leaving the kindergarten, I wrote in the Daily Dairy things that we did so Jn doesn't have the chance to weave lies.
Power game or no power game, I stubbornly refuse to participate. I believe in doing my job honestly and happily. Its like dung beetles fighting, struggling, killing and dying for the sake of what? Yeah. A dung ball. For us it is just a dung ball, for them it is their life, their world, the very meaning and center of their existence.
The world far too much abounds in hypocrites who hug and kiss you like the Judases of the Bible. I am afraid I am no match for this. All the abilities that I have, I have always employed them to acquire abilities and to perfect them. I never did learn Politics and probably never will. Its a sad case and I do not want to lose out to treachery and deceit.
I have always had just this one simple policy. Win your enemies with love. Defeat them with honesty and good work. This cannot harm anybody; at the most it can only harm me. The road is difficult but I would rather be right and fail than be wrong and succeed.
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