Thursday 23 June 2011

Cl's behavior intrigues me

Cl is such a nice girl and she is so nice towards me but now I have serious doubts that she is only faking good behavior towards me.
For one thing she doesn't trust me. She never tells me anything not because she doesn't want to gossip but because she doesn't want me to discover any news through her which I might tell others and implicate her name unknowingly - and this when she knows that I do not share confidences with others and even if I do will never implicate her.

Yesterday the whole school was on fire over An's firing and everybody was talking to everybody. Yet when I met her to wish her goodbye and nice holidays she didn't breathe a word to me. I know f I hadn't been present in front of the blue room I might never have known all this until 5 days later.I was almost angry with her for treating me with so much obviously forced distance and mistrust On several previous occasions too she has clearly shown me she didn't want to discuss other school matters with me, only the ones that concern my immediate group and that too in limited words.
lately I have started being careful that I never ask her about anything.

Does she distrust me to such an extent? Does she dislike me and just fakes good behavior because we are team mates?
I always believed in her goodness and still do but now instead of trusting that she means it when she says she likes me a lot I can say she perhaps doesn't like me. I have failed to win her trust and approval.

If I get to stay in this school in the new session, I hope I don't get to work with her. She is excellent to work with but if she keeps feeling afraid and suspicious of me like I were an undercover police agent or a terrorist than we had better not be thrown in together.

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