An Interesting Meeting- First ever of its kind!

So today was a holiday for children but a special working day for teachers. We were told it will be a teacher's training workshop; it however was only a general meeting the type we have every fortnight. The only difference being it was really really long from 9 am to 4.30 pm and..,interesting.

We began by discussing individual problems of each group, problematic children, Fr's inability to pee properly, Bshr's naughtiness, Ptr's insolence etc etc. I was pleased when my views and advises were met with acclaim and appreciation.

And then came the interesting part. Stf herself!
We started discussing Stf and her policies and I was surprised to discover how everyone was so disgruntled including Mz and My. I had hitherto thought at least My and Mz were happy.

Stf only wants to expand her business and earn more and more money. She has illegally admitted too many children in every group which in turn has overburdened the teachers with unnecessary tasks. Her idea or rather, Tk's idea to promote the child to the next group as soon as he turns a year older to create a vacancy in that group is actually wreaking a havoc in all the groups. The children first take time in settling in the new group and getting accustomed with the teachers, the children and the practices of the group when suddenly they celebrate their birthday and then the next day they are uprooted and planted into a totally new group. The entire group gets confused and unsettled as new children keep walking in and the old ones keep walking out. You might think you were really on a busy metro station.
 In this process the teachers are not able to teach anything since the ones who had just begun to learn went away and the new ones will take some time before they can begin to learn.
"I don't feel like I am a teacher anymore;" Commented My." I have not been able to teach a single thing to my kids since the new session started. I am all the time changing diapers of the kids. It is horrible."

We all agreed it was just the same with us.

Stf has admitted 15 babies in the baby group with only three teachers to handle them - An, Nd and Stf. They  complained 15 babies were too much for them. If one baby cries, the rest start crying too. Their noise gives them earaches and headaches. Often they have to hold two babies simultaneously together in their arms which further gives them severe backache. And now Stf is planning to usurp Mk's room and turn it into a nursery too so that more babies could be accommodated and keep Mk's 20 children and Mz's 15 children together in Mz'z room.! Thirty five children together in one small room! The very thought is suffocating!

"I cannot work under these conditions. I have told her I am leaving at the end of this session." Said Mk.
"And me too." Said Jn. "I cannot work either in this way."
"Why don't we all talk to Stf and request her not to do like this. " Mz suggested.

So everyone started jotting down the points they wanted to discuss with Stf. Mks in his usual brutally frank way told us that Stf was being completely right-"I mean try to look from her point of view. She is a businesswoman and wants to expand her business. There is nothing wrong in thinking like this. If I were in her place I would do the same. As to leaving my job, let me tell you guys, I shall never leave my job for anyone. I have rent and electricity bills to pay. I need my job."
"Me too." Nodded My.
"Me also" Agreed several of them.
"You can write down as many points as you please, but let me tell you, you guys are just wasting your time." Mks declared.
"Yes, I think so too." I dropped in. " She is the boss and she does what she wants. She might listen to you but ultimately she will just do it. Like last time we had requested her not to take in more children, or not to transfer children in next group mid session, she had consented or appear to be considering but ultimately she did it. I am very sure she will not listen to us. If she has made up her mind then that's the end to it."
"I don't believe this." Cl argued incredulously with wide eyes. "She loves us and really likes us. I am sure she will listen to us." Her reply was so irritatingly foolish...!

Cl's behavior is so maddening!
We are normally always very affectionate and fond of each other. Only two days ago she had hugged me fondly like a long lost sister when she returned from her blood test telling me she had missed me so much, and then just yesterday sent me a long email thanking me for everything and that we are the best team in the world and blah blah blah. Yet today when we met in the school when she was sitting amidst the other teachers she behaved cool, aloof almost indifferent like I were just an unindentifiable in a busy crowd. Apart from appearing distant, she also tries to oppose my opinion in front of the others while when she is alone, she agrees with everything that I say; and this I will have to admit, always catches me off guard. Being the close friends and colleagues that we are and having already shared my views with her on a certain subject and knowing that she agreed with me, I naturally expect she will second my view and not oppose me in front of the others.

Mental conflict

I am a lot disturbed now...since a few days. Discontent is eating my heart out.

It is unsettling for my dignity, self respect, pride and ego. I am not just a qualified and an experienced teacher; I am also a gifted, talented, skilled, versatile and an expert teacher. I cannot digest my humiliation at the hands of my juniors or even inferiors.

I cannot forget that when I and Cl had joined this school about a year ago within one month of each other, Cl had been literally nothing. She was just ultra sweet, polite, docile and a loving teacher but other than that she had no skills, no knowledge on how to deal with different types of kids, different types of parents, how to solve children's problems within the group or biggest thing- how and what to teach them. She didn't even know how to teach songs to the children, what content should be appropriate for 2-3 years old and why involving parents was so necessary.

The happy and successful one academic session which we produced last year was entirely of my shaping and construction. I formulated policies, chalked out strategies wrote the whole syllabus and decided and demonstrated what to teach and how. She worked under my guidance and I lead the group virtually. There was my name on the group file.

A year later things are changing. Cl, sometimes, appears to be getting particular about the lead role. It was me who wrote long informative newsletter emails to parents but now she tries to reserve them for herself knowing the parents will think it is her effort. She also reserves plenty of group and kindergarten news to be written only in her mails. When we started our second group and had no email group for parents, I insisted and indicated how we could continue sending the mails to parents. She followed it and took the whole credit.
She often takes pictures from her baby camera and mails them to parents. I respected her idea and didn't want to copy her. Now no matter what, she cannot let me do it. She has never said so - but you know how she will do it.
The still bigger things are, she does all the talking to the parents now. I leave early and most parents come at a later time to pick up their children but I am noticing that even those parents who do come early gets hogged by her. Very soon, no one will be aware there is also an English teacher for this group!

My heart has begun to ache now. I am losing the pleasure in my work, and the will to do better and better in school everyday. I hadn't felt so disheartened even with the Christmas Play episode last year. I suddenly want to resign or stop working here. Cl is a good learner. In one year she has learnt a lot from me to be able to roll out plenty of successful groups year after year and the type of person that she is she will get better and better. Whereas, I with all my capabilities and degrees have only been able to work as an underpaid trainee who cannot be trusted enough even be left alone with the children...!

S says I shouldn't think in this way only. I should count myself extremely lucky that I got someone like Cl to work with who was docile enough to let me do what I wanted and followed me faithfully everywhere. Suppose I had got Mz or My who are notorious for being over dominating, silly, foolish, making other's life hell and getting every teacher under them ultimately fired?

S is getting fed up with his present position in Germany too and he has already started hunting for change of scene. I am praying now that I retire from this school soon now.

A Whole Day Without Cl

Today, early in the morning at 6 am, I received Cl's message that she had fallen ill and wouldn't be coming to school today.

I hoped I would again be allowed to handle my group alone. It is not a question of independence or even superiority; it is just a question of rightful dignity. I terribly humiliated and insulting that I can't be left alone with the kids as if I were a criminal.

So, I got to handle my group alone yet again. Everybody regarded me with pity on hearing that I was alone with the children and asked me how I was faring, expecting me to break into tears or collapse with a heart attack. They were stunned to hear that I was exceptionally fine, in fact better than most days and the children couldn't be better well behaved or so well under control.
Even Jr the little German boy who cries the whole day and goes only to Cl was perfectly okay with me and had no objections in coming to me.

The only incident to mar my euphoria was Fr's pee pee. That  boy's mother wants us to take him to pee every five minutes in school but forgets to instruct her husband to take him to pee before dropping him in the class. The result is he wets his clothes even before we started the class. And then, he either does pee in his clothes or shoots his pee onto his clothes while peeing in the toilet, or his pee drips down from the space between the cover and the toilet bowl all on to his clothes.  And if none of these happens he drops water glass on to his pants! Whatever you do with him, his clothes are always wet!

Today he wet his clothes three times. No underwears were left in his basket or in the kindergarten stock. I finally gave him a diaper. The next time when  he went to pee and sat down on the toilet, his pee steadily dripped down from the space between the toilet seat and bowl.
 I have really become sick of this boy!

After we returned from the playground visit, Mks requested me to have the lunch with his group. I wanted to have it in my own but on second thought I gave in; I didn't want to refuse his every gesture of help and sound like an adamant snob.
After the lunch, we went to the toilets together and then finally to sleep - only my children and me in their new separate sleeping room.

While I was marking attendance for my group in the afternoon, I suddenly noticed with irony that my name is nowhere mentioned in the group record..! There is Stf - the owner's name, My and Mz the manager's name and Cl's name for group leader. Simply no mention of me as if I don't exist at all...This is a bit weird because this is a bilingual kindergarten where an English teacher occupies an important place in every group..!.

I am a bit worried now....

A half Day without Cl

Today Cl had to be absent from school for half a day for a blood test. There is still the shortage of teachers in school due to many of us still being ill. In addition, both Mz and My were also absent due to their requirement somewhere else for the school. I am guessing some manager workshop or training...

There's a rule here in Germany that if you're "a certain German word" teacher which means something like under teacher or a trainee teacher then you can't be left alone with the kids; you only work in the supervision of the lead teacher. In this school there's also the rule that only the German teacher will be the lead teacher...! Also, my degrees which qualify me to be an experienced and an expert teacher, have not been translated into German which reduces me to the status of only a trainee - at least on paper and in terms of salary.

So once, in the past when Cl was absent and no other teacher was free to come to my group and I was handling my group alone, then Mz had very insultingly stated that I could not be left alone with the kids as I was only a trainee and then she had merged my group with another group.
 Her statement left me seething like a freshly erupted volcanic lava for several days...! I have trained Cl, made every single decision about my group, led my group in and out of every big and little thing and made my group successful and the only successful group in the whole school and I am to be referred as only a bloody trainee?

I was desperately hoping to be left alone with the kids and was very very glad that both Mz and My were not present to prevent this from happening.

Mks came to me and asked me if I needed help.
"No, I don't." I replied happily.
"I know, that you're very capable and very well able to handle the group yourself but as you know-"
"-yes, I know that I can't be left alone with the kids but I don't see what other options I have."
"Maybe you come into our group?" He suggested.
"Mks, you have 20 children and only two teachers including yourself ( both trainees) If you merge my group you will have 30 and THAT will be crazy and totally unmanageable."
"Ya...but something else..."
"You want to come to my group or Bh? You're welcome!"
"No no, I have 20 children and I have only Bh to stay with me."
"Same way I cannot merge my group with Mk or Mz's group; they both have 20 children and they are without extra help too."
"Yes...maybe you can have An from the baby group; the baby group has 3 teachers."
"I have already talked to them. They have so many babies there that they can't spare An for me."
"So there is no other way. You must stay with your kids." He resigned and I rejoiced openly. " Let me know if you need any help."

I really did go ecstatic over my victory. Can't be left alone with the kids? What the fuck!

I guess, Mz, My or Stf, maybe Stf rang the school to find out if everything was Okay; Mks usually answers the phone and when he told her that Cl was absent then she expressed her concerns that I must not be left alone so he had come to tell me that I should merge...

I was surprised that unlike everyday, my kids didn't trouble at all. They were all nice, well behaved and docile. I was able to carry out all the planned activities as per the schedule without making any cuts anywhere and of course without any trouble.

Cl arrived at 11 o'clock and was in the kitchen when I and the children returned from our playground visit. I was very happy to see her but I confess, a remote corner of my heart lost the taste of freedom and dignity...! Do what I would, I cannot get rid of the humiliating thought that despite being everything in my group and for my group and shaping it completely, I am to be regarded as just a trainee - a bloody trainee!

I was Absent from school.

Yesterday I hadn't gone to school as I had an appointment for Visa. There were very few teachers in the school so my group was merged with My's group which unsettled all the children and they behaved crazily the whole day.

Today My complained that I shouldn't make morning appointments as they mean getting absent from school. I laughed it aside and told her that our VISA appointments are arranged by my husband's company agents and not us so we cannot choose appointment time.

Mz has come back from her honeymoon.

I talked to Jn. I just told him that I had heard he had an argument with Mks. I didn't tell him anything what he had been saying to him. And he too was pretty cool enough. He didn't mind it very much, at least not too much. I was so so so very glad about this.
"Basically, I don't like this place; it is much too chaotic and disorganizsed. I feel I am not able to work here the way I want to but....it's okay."
I just dropped him a word of advise that he shouldn't discuss his religious views and opinions with others as people don't understand and then make fun. He nodded slowly. Apparently he was trying to recall what he had said to whom.
"Yes....I understand..."
"Jn, you are such a nice person. I only want you to be happy wherever you are. That's all."

While we were this chatting Mks came along. he stared at me.
"Don't you want to go home? You are half an hour late." He reproached.
"I was just talking to Jn that tomorrow I have a very big festival. I would like to excuse myself from the meeting."
"Stf is in the office. Go and ask her RIGHT NOW. If you ask Mz or My they may not allow you but Stf can. Your festival is important to you."
"I would hate to bring in my festivals on my work place." I protested.
"Well, when we have our Christmas, we take 15 days holiday; you are only absenting yourself from a meeting in the evening. Go and ask Stf now"
"Okay, and if she drives the topic to something else, I will come back and get you."
"Agreed."

I went in and talked to Stf and she was perfectly fine with it. "Oh, you need not worry. The meeting is not important. It is only to tell some teachers how to send the emails etc. but your group is already doing that so no problem."\
was so glad. I went to Mks then and said my thanks to him.

Since yesterday our group's sleeping room has been changed and now our children no longer sleep together with Mks' children. The fact that we both had to supervise our sleeping children in the same area had developed a friendship between me and him which, I know, would never have developed otherwise. We used to help each other in everything, play silly pranks on each other and when the children slept we used to chat. He had admitted the he had told me things which he had never to anyone else before. ( well, stuff like having visions of God and crying for Him, his childhood etc.)

Tomorrow we have Halloween party in school. Everybody has to go dressed up in Halloween costume. I plan to dress up as a witch with black mask, horns on my black casuals and false teeth.

Jn and Mks had an Argument

Today Jn and Mks had a sort of argument and made Mks nearly lose all his temper.

There's a little devil of a boy Pt in Mks's group who is far worse than you can imagine. He just knows how to snap "No" very defiantly and rudely to everyone and to everything. He is British too...!
Well, so he wasn't eating his lunch and throwing ugly tantrums. Mks decided to force a spoonful in his mouth but Pt spat out the contents like a volcano lava. Jn entered the classroom just at that moment and was shocked to see such a big child being forcefed.
"Hey, you can't force feed such a big child.That is wrong." He exclaimed.
"Don't tell me what I have to do; I am his teacher. Okay?" Mks remarked coolly.
"Might be, but I am a qualified teacher. I know that is wrong. You can't do like that." Jn reiterated.
This made Mks fly into an ugly rage.

He was so very very upset and insulted at being dictated and that too by no other than Jn whom he already disdains and ridicules due to his religious habits, his following Hindu Gods in whom Mks, naturally, has no belief and for being a soft, gentle kind of guy; it is no secret - Mks openly prides himself on being the only male in the whole kindergarten; the other men he doesn't regard as men at all.

He fumed and raved and ranted for a long time against him. It was hard for me to hear all that because I am on good terms with Jn too. I do believe it was somewhat wrong of him to address Mks like that, but calling Jn as stupid and effeminate was too much.

"He is a horrible teacher. He stuffs earplugs in his ear canals and can't hear how loud his children are shouting and  then complains he has a very rowdy group. He doesn't know how to control them. Yesterday he was in the preschool and when the children became too much for him, he played some stupid video on his iphone. Come on, man. Admit, you could not control them through any other means. He is a stupid man. He tries to be a priest when he cannot even be at least a teacher..."

I tried to talk him out of this wrath.

'Well, we all are here to work and not to make friends or enemies. So if he is not your friend, he is neither your enemy. Sometimes out of provocation, irritation, stress or whatever, we end up saying things we do not mean and regret later. Best is to forget what he said. He can't have meant to be rude to you or to anyone. He is a very peaceful, gentle, calm sort of guy. Maybe he was just too overworked and stressed to let such a remark escape from him.
This is nothing compared to what Mz had said 2-3 times to me..." I said.
"What did Mz say to you?" He ask curiously.
'Well, I was in the kitchen and picked up her dish by mistake. She commented loudly that she would mix pig meat and cow meat in H's food and make him eat that and I would never even know about it-"
"-what? She said THAT? That's so offensive!"
"Yes. Than on one occasion Cl was absent and I was alone with my group and she sent some teacher to my group not to help me out but because she said I could not be trusted to be alone with the kids; and that was so very very insulting. I have by far so much experience and qualification and she tells me she can't leave me alone with the kids because I am not trustable enough? I wanted to kill her or kill myself for this....!"

"Oh God, this is too much. Luckily a new English teacher is coming to Mk's group and Jn will go to Mz's group. I hope he gives Mz a hard time with his stupidities - then Mz will chuck him out."

My heart almost skipped a beat at such a vengeful idea in his mind...!

Ktc is giving trouble

Ever since Ktc has gone in the new group. i.e. Mks/ My's group he has started giving trouble and it is pee pee trouble..! Although being fully toilet trained many many months ago, he now manages to pee in his clothes everyday and sometimes several times a day. Yesterday he peed on himself so many times that My was in tears and stock of spare clothes both in his personal basket as well as the school drawer ran out. We had nothing to make him wear.

It was surprising because this had never happened when he was with us. Both Cl and I know the answer but we are quiet. Whom to say and what??

When Ktc was with us I had noticed that he wore ultra tight clothes. He is a very healthy and strong boy and ideally should be wearing size 110 or at least 104 but actually wears 92 which is several size smaller and wrong for him. Whether his parents think it is okay or simply are unaware what should be okay, I do not know. His underwears, jeans and leggings used to be so tight that he was unable to slip them down to be able to do pee. So we always had to help him out with it. 

I had informed this to his father who is a very nice gentleman but the very next week he went to another group and so it ceased to be my problem.

Mks and My are not that loving and caring to the kids. They lead the children to toilets and tell them to go do pee. They do help of course when it is needed but still  Ktc has been escaping their attention steadily up till now. So poor fellow wants to pee but is unable to tell them that he wants his trousers to be pulled down nor do they even notice that he has only been loitering around the toilets without peeing. They still do not know what's wrong with his clothes and then get a shock of their lives when he wets his clothes several times a day.! They don't find anything amiss that a big enough child doesn't feel comfortable enough to approach them to communicate his needs.

 

Yesterday while coming to school, I accidentally met his father.  He was upset too with this and had no idea why this was happening. I repeated that he needed to wear bigger size clothes. I also discussed this with Mks but I got a feeling that Mks did not like that I should be talking to parents of his group so I have decided that I shan't pick up this subject again with him. Cl thinks the same too. She says it is their problem now. They should know what is wrong and why it is happening. After all it never happened with us and there is a good reason for that.

Today when Mks brought his children in for sleeping I noticed that he asked Ktc if he wanted to go to pee. Ktc nodded. 

"Then go to the toilet, man, and do pee pee." He ordered loudly in an impatient tone. Ktc immediately complied without a word and went out. 5-10 minutes later he returned, got undressed with Mks's help and went to sleep. Half an hour later a large stream of pee was flowing from under his bed like a big rain swollen river....!!!

"Oh, shit man. Ktc has peed again! Oh no. How could this be? He went to toilet just half an hour ago. I myself sent him. I swear, there is something wrong with this boy. ...How can he pee so many times a day and sooo much?"

In addition to Ktc, Ml also has been peeing in her clothes rather often and she too didn't do this when she was in our group. And Pr too.....

Another funny thing is when Mk's children need any help like opening buttons, pulling out a tshirt etc they feel afraid to go to him; instead they come to me to seek help and I admit I find it flattering. The other day My was complaining that her children don't speak anything, no 'Sorry', 'Thank you', no words, nothing. They all spoke so much when they were with us. Both Cl and I think its because both My and Mks are very harsh and strict teachers so they are afraid of them and don't open up.

I wonder if the parents are realizing this too....

Official Leave

I need a day off from work to apply for Visa renewal. Legally, leave for such reasons are called official leaves and are not counted as a leave at all. The last time when I had availed a leave for filing my work permit I was given an official leave.

I was sure Stf would have no problem in giving one to me again, especially as right now we are dangerously short of English teachers in the school having only 4 instead of 7-8 English teachers.
But Stf is Stf - a really tough businesswoman. She spoke to me in tones and expressions that were far sweeter than honey yet as firm, unchangeable and immovable as a rock.
"I am sorry but I can't give you any official leave. You are a very special teacher for us. We keep your child free of charge. You know you don't have to pay even for his food. So considering this you must work overtime for being absent from work."

I felt terribly sour after this. I am weary of hearing "because your child is receiving free education you won't be paid for Christmas overtime, any other normal overtime, vacation etc etc." But probably I shouldn't complain as this is also the most handsome feature of my service here....and the fact that this school is a very prestigious, renowned, influential and status institution. I am singularly proud of working here...

Sleep Complaint

Previously our group had a separate sleeping room, a cosy little room lined with baby beds with numerous paper stars hanging from the ceiling. Then the departure of As brought about many changes and one of them was the shuffling which converted this sleeping room into staff room,, the old staff room became the science lab and a deep, dark,  hideously interiored enclosed section of the gym became my new sleeping room which neither I liked nor did the children for a variety of reasons. For one, it gets a full load of noise from the children of the other group who also sleep in the same gym but outside the enclosure. And then it is so hot that the children get soaking wet with sweat. The enclosure in itself is so wildly made with fierce colors, irregular and jutting out beams and wedges and some dozens of criminal looking bats hung from the ceiling that should appear frightening to our little children.
I forgot to mention, the place was meant to act as a horror castle or some such thing several years ago when our school was a children's play place....!!

Well, yesterday the school received an email from some anonymous parents complaining that this new sleeping place be changed to the previous one as the children are unable to sleep in it.

We are surprised who could have sent this email. I feel my parents cannot complain because all the children in my group sleep well enough. The only child who has difficulty falling asleep is JL but then he is a new admission who started coming to this school barely 6 weeks ago so his parents can't even dream that our group once had a separate sleeping room. However my last year students who have now passed on to Mks and My's group don't sleep at all; they keep lying awake on their beds tossing and turning, and playing and talking in whispers all the time while they all used to sleep pretty well when they were in my group and I was in charge of their sleeping time.
 I suspect it is Clt's mother who has complained. She was very particular that Clt should sleep well in school. Whenever I was on leave or on vacation, she never slept and always did when I was in charge. Her mother used to joke that whenever Clt doesn't sleep, she can correctly guess I must been have been absent from school. Now, the same Clt never sleeps. Her mother had even requested Mks once to try to make her sleep somehow as she becomes too tired by evening. That day Mks shouted at her to go to sleep, as a result, Clt being an extremely sensitive, shy and touchy child burst out crying and wept so badly that I had to step in to calm her down. She immediately responded to me and slept well for next two days - and two days only - then back on the same track...

The funny thing is her little sister Fd is in my group now. Fd was in the habit of being extremely active and playful in bed and tried her best to avoid sleeping but I ensured that she slept and so she sleeps nicely.

Ll is finally settling down...!

The new girl Ll is now three weeks old in our group if we remember that she comes only three days a week and then was absent for one whole week due to illness and she is nowhere close to even starting to settle down. It is normal for children not to leave their parents; it is however not normal for parents to not want to leave their children - and that in a kindergarten !

The second day when we had planned to separate her, she was doing fine and maybe would've done fine but she glimpsed her mommy and cried so much till her mother had to come in to calm her down. Since then her mommy appears more frightened of the separation than the child. So we are spending our entire school day with her constantly at our elbows. Ll is a highly demanding child and knows how to get her way. Now of course she knows that if she cries loud and hysterical enough, mommy will show up, so whenever we try disappearing her mommy, her cries bring her back.
She is also extremely active, willful, stubborn and extremely lacking in discipline, respect for elders and obedience. So whenever you tell her something to do, a defiant, insolent, high sounding "No" is hurled at you which gathers more and more rudeness as you sound more and more polite and loving.

Today finally the mother too started showing signs of growing impatience at her demands. I talked to her and told her that although we know that if she is separated now she will cry of course but will eventually be fine within 2 days, but we sense that the mother won't feel comfortable so we aren't stressing. We want Ll as well as her, both to be comfortable with us and school. She looked so relieved and gracious.
Then I told her that today after her lunch, she should let Ll play in the dummy kitchen as she loves playing with Tea set and other kitchen stuff at home; and to talk to her about the school the whole day long at home. Together these two would help her in accepting the school in a more positive manner instead of associating it with a place where she must remain without her mommy.
And my tips worked!

Today the mother child duo was present. I tried taking her in my lap in front of her mother sitting at just an arm's distance from me, but she screamed and screamed and became quiet only when she sat near her. This was plain obstinacy. It couldn't be fear or apprehension. She just wanted to be near her mama that's all.  After the morning circle time, we took her along with the class to toilet and I instructed the mother not to accompany us while I kept Ll's mind thoroughly distracted and she was fine! Then we just smuggled the mother out of the classroom and Ll for the first time spent the whole day with us without crying, only occasionally recalling her mommy, and was really fine. She even started talking and playing with the other children.

It is a fact that the longer the parents stay with the children in the school thinking they are helping in settling down, they are actually not. If anything, it only delays the settling period because first the child has to learn that he is expected to come to this new place everyday and do things in a certain way which are different from home. And then he has to learn that his parents might leave him here.for short periods of time, and then the shocker that he must remain here absolutely without his parents. Letting parents stay longer only allows the child to think that they will forever be present and so he suffers a bigger shock when they don't come anymore. Isn't it more agonizing for poor children? It is better to initiate the separation from second day first for a short duration and then for long.

This makes me wonder...! In the group, almost all the decisions are made by me, all strategies are carved by me, all advises and tips are offered by me, all reasons are given by me. Cl merely carries them out but is called the group leader because she is the German teacher. I am glad that my group and its success and happiness is basically shaped by me and I can safely admit that it is fully my creation. However, not being too proud, I must also remember that it takes two hands to clap. If Cl was not such an obedient, respectful colleague, I might not have achieved this success at all. 

Viral Fever attack

The school is in the grips of a fever virus again...! Many teachers and children are absent resulting in a terrifying shortage of teachers because most of them are ill. Its weird how we disinfect our hands after every toilet visit, use generous disinfectants on surfaces used even for eating purposes, all bed lines are laundered everyday and yet there are such frequent infection visitations in schools.

I and H both fell ill and had to be away from the school for 5 days.

When I returned to work today I was warmly welcomed by all the teachers and Cl gave me an emotional hug, she was so happy to see me back. A lot of teachers are still away and we enter the school building wondering whose turn will it be today to fall ill....

There is no sign of Mri returning after her unfortunate deportation to Canada. Stf has already started looking for her replacement but it is by no means easy to find a qualified English teacher in Germany...

Mz has got married and is away to Thailand for her honeymoon..!

Meanwhile Mgt has gone. What a great relief!
Shortage of teachers had forced Mgt to render her dumb services to the other groups too which only helped people discover she was a total nuisance. Nobody liked her and nobody welcomed her; one day when I was absent, the teachers were trying to decide in which group to send her and everybody said "No, no no, not Mgt, please, not Mgt. I would rather be alone than have her in my group..."
In her last days she had started sensing this unwelcome for she had appeared hurt, embarrassed and a bit bruised all over.

After a few months she will come back again but not if some teachers broach this subject to Stf to decide whether to terminate her contract with the school.
I still feel bad for her...but happy nevertheless that she is no longer here.

Chatting with MKs about salaries and Mgt

I had the opportunity of idly chatting with him when our children were asleep.
We were discussing Mgt and salaries. I used to think that my salary must be the lowest in the school, but when I told him he was aghast.
"By God, considering that your degrees are not yet translated into German and you work for only five hours and avail free education for your son, you are the most handsomely paid one in the entire school. I work for more hours than you but my salary is not significantly higher than you. And if you look at Mz and My, they work for sooo long, nearly 14 hours or even more, head their group, manage the school office and what not and still their salaries are only about 200-400 Euros more than me. 200-400 Euros is a lot but considering their work load, responsibilities and working hours as compared to mine it is nothing. And take my word of advice: don't tell anyone if you can help it that you don't have to pay for your son."

I really had been regarding myself as grossly underpaid. In fact since long, I had made up my mind to switch to another school for better salary prospects, ask Stf to increase my salary or to request her to increase my working hours. Actually I am not at all a money minded person. I derive too much pleasure and satisfaction in my work to run after money. In fact I keep spending money on school from my own pocket and feel too lazy to claim it back. And I have always been like this, even in the previous schools where I had taught.

Mgt I hear is a certified teacher which means for the crappy crappy crappy five hours of her work she gets a fatter salary than anyone of us.

Speaking of Mgt reminds me. She spent two days in Mz's group and another two in Mk's group. She drove both the groups and their teachers totally mad with her own mad antics. Today she was in Mk's group again but something happened between them which we don't yet know and she suddenly walked out announcing she was going home as she was experiencing some pain in her heart. I am guessing Mk said something to her...!

while we were thus chatting, it was time for us to wake up our children. Mks woke up Ml and lovingly picked  up her blanket; the next instant he screamed "Oh, shit, oh, shit..." Ml had at that very instant done pee pee which the blanket had yet not soaked in and so all the pee pee ran into Mks's Tshirt and jeans. I know he hates this kind of stuff. He stood looking at me totally horrified and pissed off. "I am really very very upset. I don't like this at all."
"Can't you change your clothes?" I suggested helpfully.
"I don't carry extra clothes with me."
"Maybe you can get an extra Tshirt from school. There are so many lying around.."
And the children?"
"Don't worry. I will wake them up."

So while he went to change and wash himself I woke up his and my kids, dressed them and sent them to their groups. It was time for me to leave. I was looking for Mk to ask him whether it was important for me to come to his group's parent teacher meeting tomorrow, I found him cleaning Ktc who had pooped in his clothes and he is not even in his group. So I helped him in cleaning and dressing until Mks came and overtook Ktc from me.
I was so late today...

An's day out with big 6 year olds

Mri is in Canada on indefinite leave due to Visa issues. We don't even know if she will ever come back in Germany, leave alone showing up in our kindergarten again. Her absence may not have been noticed so much but for the fact that a lot of teachers are absent from the school due to one reason or the other and her group is absolutely without any teacher.
Mz, My, Jn, were all absent today. That left only Mcl to look after Mz's group but today morning he rang to inform that by mistake he had risen late in the morning so he will be late by half an hour to school. Half an hour later he rang again to tell us that he fell down from U Bahn stairs and was hurt so he won't be coming for next few days!

 Mgt and An were sent to look after the whole group. Both Cl and I wondered what was happening in that group today because of Mgt's notoriety in not being able to do anything anywhere and because An is so soft, gentle and self effacing; we have never heard her speak in a loud tone while that group children are so rowdy, indisciplined, loud and totally out of control.

I met An in the playground and asked how her day was going in the group and her reply didn't surprise me at all.
She replied rolling her eyes heavenwards.
"Oh, they are horrible. They don't listen no matter how loud you shout after them. The morning circle time was nerve racking. They kept shouting loudly, talking, fighting, pestering each other and didn't have the courtesy to listen quietly when the teachers were talking to them, let alone obeying them. We took them to the gym and then brought them out here in the playground where they can use all their energy in sports. I feel I am so much better with my baby group in which the little babies don't know yet how to talk."

Mgt is angry with us...and we don't care now...

So Mgt really is angry with me. Twice in the near past she had sailed past me on the road outside the school looking elsewhere pretending she didn't notice me. Today in the morning I was heading towards the school and she did the same pretending again.
I marvel at her intellect. How can she even imagine that people wouldn't recognize her from even so close a quarter as just 2 meters in broad daylight and her profile easily visible even when she tried her best to keep her face averted in the opposite direction?

I discovered that Mri who is not coming to school these days is not unwell but has been deported to Canada.
Her German boyfriend had planned a surprise trip to Croatia for her to spend their long weekend together. She however didn't have the Visa to enter that country. She was detained, I guess, in the train that goes to Croatia and then deported back to Canada by force.
"At thirty years of age, she ought to have known that proper visa is needed to enter a country." Mc (who is male practitioner in Mz/ Mri's group) remarked wryly.
"What a serious mess she is in now."
"And if we substitute her with Mgt, we are in a far far greater mess."
"What? What do you mean?"
"Well, er....well...er...you know....Mgt is.....not exactly a pleasure to work with in our group...." He trailed off.
"Hmmmmmm. I know what you mean...."

I and Cl had been secretly rejoicing and thanking our stars over and over again which made Mgt unable to come to our group anymore. And I had speculated that maybe we had a bad experience with her because our children were small; maybe she committed so many blunders because she was not used to working with such little children. But Mc's casual remark opened our eyes. So she is not working properly even with the six year olds...
Does she even know what pains we have taken to protect her and her job? If we had reported all her willful errors she might now be sitting outside the school.

The new girl

A new girl has joined our group. She is also Ll from England however an American by place of birth.

Yesterday was her first day and she was admirably perfect; no crying, no whining, extremely interested in all and everything and flashing at us her beautiful smile every third second. That however was only yesterday.

Today she had to spend her first day at the kindergarten without her mother. For the first half hour she was fine, only sometimes suddenly remembering that her mommy wasn't there. Then she happened to glimpse her mommy through the kitchen door glass and that was the end of fair weather. She cried and screamed and screeched to her full might. Being only 2 months short of three years old and of medium, sturdy, healthy built, she was as strong as a horse. She would kick, push and scream and even tried to hit and scratch to get away from us and out of the classroom door till her mother really took fright and decided to be with her.

I feel certain Mgt is angry with us, maybe a little more angry with me than with Cl. She keeps a straight, unsmiling face now and just drops a cold and curt 'Hello' and 'Bye' to me that's all. Probably she took a serious offence because I spoke to her that way last Friday.

Luckily she is not coming in our group since yesterday as she has to go to Mz's group because Mri is unwell and absent from the school. I wish she would stay in any other group rather than come to us.