Asy lost it again. I am so sorry for her...

My hives attack did subside a little in the evening, but after midnight I started getting another fresh outbreak.
I couldn't go to school today as well.

In the morning Asy called me on phone. She was in great distress.
"I had a miscarriage again. I think I can never have babies. There is something wrong with my system which does not let me carry my pregnancy. This is so tragic. I love children and want to become a mother but I can't. Now this is the third time same thing happening to me. Everyone can become pregnant, even sixteen, fifteen year old girls can become pregnant, why can't I? I can't bear to look at children or babies now....They remind me of my tragedy all the time...."

I was so terribly sorry for her. I couldn't find anything to comfort her. I was so very very sorry.

She will join the school next week. She cannot stay at home as she shall keep brooding all the time which will drive her crazy.

I rang the school and informed them about my own condition. Then I went to the doctor myself. My hives are no better still. It is maddening to see ugly swollen red patches appear all over your body which sometimes look like a splash of liquid and burn and itch like hell and you can't do anything to relieve yourself.

Onm

The day we had our last meeting (which has wreaked havoc on my monthly cycle!) I met Onm's mother.

Onm is a little Finnish/Nigerian boy in our class and a special favorite of Stfn's. Guess why? Because he resembles her long distance boyfriend. For this reason, maybe, she keeps cuddling him all the time so much so that he has been reduced to behave and act like a mere one year old baby. Before, coming of Stfn in my group he was absolutely okay. Now he keeps crying, listens and responds only to Stfn and desires us to do every little work for him which he is fully capable of accomplishing himself; in fact he had been doing all that stuff with us helping him, but now no more. For instance, he has a good appetite and eats nearly three plates everyday with out any help or prod. But now, he will sit quietly and keep looking at us expectantly that we will feed him or at least pamper him to  do so. That significantly reduced his appetite and for many weeks he had been eating not even half plate, forget three. Similarly, he could dress and undress himself, take off and out on his shoes, fall asleep by himself etc but now he just doesn't want to do.

One day, when we served him lunch, a meat dish which he particularly relished, he kept sitting quietly not even touching his food. Asy and Stfn both were there. I gently admonished both of them to avoid looking in his direction as I was sure he just wanted us to pamper and feed him. Fortunately they listened. He kept hoping we would look at him, and say, "Oh, Onm, aren't you eating? Take a bite. It's really tasty. You will like it." stuff but that didn't happen today. After a hopeless wait for another ten minutes, he gave up and attacked hos plate with full vengeance and not only did he finished all, but he also asked for more.

Now he is back on track and doing admirably.

Onm's mother and father both work full time and so Onm stays in the kindergarten from 8 0'clock to 5.30 pm. I only get to see his mother the day we have meetings in school when I have to stay long.
I had also heard stories that Onm's mother and father both are very attached with him and feel unnecessarily  aggrieved and scared at drop off times. Several times I had been reported that the mother was sobbing publicly at the time of dropping him despite being reassured and despite Onm being absolutely okay. Well, and of course, Onm's mother has a special trust and confidence on Stfn which I ans Cl could never command from her. It was like she just didn't trust us. Cl used to tell me, that in the morning she would come and talk about Onm only to Stfn totally ignoring Cl standing right under her nose although we were his teachers and not Stfn. I am sure she must have rejoiced when she heard Cl was being replaced by Stfn.

All the parents in the school were still recovering from the shock of Mz and My's sudden termination having no clue as to the real cause of it. Then Stfn sneaked the news of her resignation to Onm! I call that sly.

"I am withdrawing my child from this school." She started, breaking half way in her famous tears and sniffing miserably. "What's happening in this school, for God's sake? Will someone tell me, please? Why is evrybody leaving? Something for sure is drastically wrong. First Mz and My, now Stfn as well. I don't want to stay in a kindergarten where teachers change so quickly that my child doesn't know who he will find in school today morning. I have had enough of this school. I can't stand it anymore. I have looked for another place and soon we shall be leaving. I am fed up of this."

Today, I have received her notice of contract cancellation. Onm will leave this kindergarten in mid May...!

Asy is pregnant!

Yesterday I had to come back from school on account of a strange side pain which I had been experiencing off and on, since last Saturday but never before that. The pain's intensity subsided when I reached home. I was planning to go to the doctor next tomorrow morning. However, in the morning when I woke up I was horrified to discover I was now getting a hives attack!

Going to school in this condition was out of question. I had a hives attack last before last year too. It is terrible.

At about 9 0'clock, I received Asy's call.
"I am pregnant."
"What?" I cried not knowing if she were happy or sad about it.

She was so excited and almost incoherent. She told me everything then. She had been wanting a baby badly but the last two times she had become pregnant, she told everybody happily and unfortunately she had repeated miscarriages. This time she doesn't want to tell anyone, not even Stf.
"I feel so bad for Stf. There is a shortage of teachers. I just now had a call from Mks and he was asking me that I should try to come as there is neither Stfn nor you in the school. There is nobody for our group. I told him I cannot come because I am very ill. I really am very ill. I am constantly throwing up and getting unconscious. My doctor has told me that to stop going to the kindergarten as there are several sorts of infections there and any one of them could be dangerous for me. I have been advised full rest at home and no strenuous activity.
So I won't be coming to the kindergarten anymore now."

Dear Asy! I am so happy for her. I assured her again and again that she need not worry about the school. It can be taken care of one way or the other. She has to think about herself and her health now before everything else. As yet we have to keep this news secret from Stf or anyone in the school on her request.

"Oh, and I am sooo happy too but I can't explain, how frightened I am. I keep thinking that something bad will happen. I am so scared. I don't want another mishap this time. I want to have a baby desperately."

There goes another teacher of our sinking little kindergarten....!
Her reason for leaving is great but now we are one teacher lesser. As if the destiny has decided to strike down on Stf and her kindergarten with an uncommon brutal force. It appears almost like an evil design that everyone including myself, directly or indirectly should chose precisely this time to leave the school....!

Poor Stf! I pity her deeply.

I came back from school due to pain

Yesterday, S decided I must inform Stf about my impending resignation.

I went to sleep with a heavy heart. I love this school. Well, I have always loved every school I have ever worked in and every school has been special to me in its own way. Yet, this is one is decidedly different from the others in the past in more ways than one..! Especially right now, the school is undergoing a terribly critical phase. Leaving at this point almost translates to forsaking someone in need. Not that Stf needs me as anything more than a teacher. However acute the problem of finding trained teachers could be, someone will be found to replace me. It's not the end of the world either for her or for me. If I know Stf, she might even become infuriated with me for wanting to leave at this time. When Stfn had informed her about her desire to leave she had become so angry with her that she refused even to look at her or acknowledge her cordial greetings for several days.

As yet I do not even know when shall be my last day. S had resigned from his present company immediately after Easter and has to serve a notice period of 2-3 months accordingly shifting his joining date in his new company which is in the north west of Germany. There are chances of receiving a new negotiation offer from his present company or even finding another job offer in this city itself which shall make us stay here and I can continue in this school without a change.

Today I went to school poised yet deeply apprehensive about how to break this news. I wanted to tell Stf first before any other in the school. Since last Saturday I had been getting a strange sharp intermittent pain in my sides which I had dismissed as simple gas pain or period pain. Last Thursday the day we had meeting and I was so troubled, my stress resulted in starting my cycle just after 5 days! It had never happened to me before and I was so scared. My gynec did and ultra sound and found everything was okay. "Do you have stress? Sometimes stress causes sudden start of periods." He told me.
Well, today since morning I was getting the side pain, even then I decided to go to school as these days Stfn is absent due to her grand mother's critical health.

Mk and Nd were back to school after their workshop.
"How is Stfn? She hasn't come since last Friday." I asked Mk. Stfn and Ndn live together and because Ndn is Mk's girlfriend, the three know practically everything about each other. They are also great friends together.
"There is a sad news. She won't come this whole week."
"Her grandmother....?"
"Ya...!" He nodded quietly. "She passed away on Sunday. Don't tell this to anyone yet."
"And I might have a bad news to give too." I whispered.
"Are you going to leave?"
"I might. Nothing is certain yet."
"Oh..." He sighed understandably assimilating the whole situation in one single stroke. He appeared to be thinking 'Everyone is leaving. She too.There won't be anyone left in the school.'
"And I don't want to leave. I love this school..." I broke down. He came forward and hugged me to comfort me understanding the full depth of my emotions.
I disengaged myself and cautioned him not to tell this to anyone.
"You know I won't."
"Yes," I smiled wiping my tears with the tissue he handed me. "I know, you won't."

Asy had already come in and together we did the morning circle somehow. I was hoping the pain would subside but instead it was getting worse and I had begun wincing now and then. My face was distorted with pain and I felt I couldn't stand or walk now. Asy was so frightened. She told me to go home. Tn would come and take care of the group along with her. So I came off. All the teachers looked so concerned and worried for me.
I went to change my shoes and met Ndn there. She gave me forty Euros.
"What's this?"
"Stfn gave this to me to give to you. You had lent her some money, you remember?"
"Ah.., okay. But that was fifty Euros. Doesn't matter."
"I don't know. She gave me only this. I shall tell her."
"I heard about her grandmother." Said I. Everyone was asking me about her. I didn't know so I told them that her grand mother is very ill."
"Oh, you told them? Stfn didn't want to divulge this information in school, just that she was ill."
"Oh, I am so sorry. She didn't tell me she didn't want to tell anyone. Well, I haven't told anything specific."

Maybe the reason why she didn't want to tell about her grandmother's demise was because she has taken medical leave to attend her grandmother's last rites so that she doesn't have to take leave without pay. She should have told me so. I hope I don't get her in any trouble now. Stf might reduce her salary for this month or so....!

Sf's Rum Cake

Yesterday was Sf's birthday. Sf is a little German/Columbian girl who always dressed extremely shabbily to school. Her clothes and dresses, dress pairings, shoes, socks etc were all mismatched, most unbecoming and shabby. Her hair was always unkempt and often she appeared like unbathed, unwashed, straight from her bed to school. She often stank a little bit especially while undressing for nap time. The day we had school photograph shoot, she was dressed in particularly dirty dress, so we had to change her clothes in order to appear a bit sightly in the group and individual pictures.
Her father is a nice, polite, warm, courteous German man and Sf appears to be very attached to him. Her mother is slightly strict, exacting, a bit dictating, demanding type.

Well, two weeks ago we learnt, that her parents have separated so in the mornings she would be dropped to school by her mother and picked up in the evenings by her father. Earlier, her father had always dropped and picked her.

Since the day her mother brings to school, Sf is new person. Clean, well dressed, well combed, well shod and plenty of tasteful, becoming dresses to wear.

I saw the father last Thursday (the day we had that meeting which gave me a headache). For courtesy's sake I told him I was sorry to hear about their separation. He laughed loudly.

"No no, don't be sorry. I am happy. I feel relieved to have separated. She found a new boyfriend and left me. I am happy to be free of her."

Yesterday was her birthday. Her mother brought a huge beautiful cake for the children.We cut the cake and served it to the children but they didn't like it and almost everyone rejected it after partaking just one or two spoonfuls.
We later found out out that the cake was with rum, and not a little rum, but so much of it, that the whole cake was thoroughly wet and even stung your nostrils with the alcoholic aroma!

Everybody in the staff who ate the cake reported extreme lethargy and drowsiness. I ate a small piece too and had to fight hard to keep myself awake. Ksh was the only one who had eaten a whole piece and he kept dancing crazily for a long time.

And later, in the evening, her mother refused to believe us that the cake was a rum cake.

Mz the thief!

It is post Mz/My era. We all are basking in the golden sunshine of freedom from their evil influences. I tell the new teachers they are lucky - they need never suffer sleepless nights wondering which day was going to be their last one, or get fired simply for wearing a beautiful or expensive dress to work. I love the fact I don't hear Mz's loud guffaws of false laughter anymore or see My's scarfed head bobbing up and down like a little hen.

No new teacher, so far, has joined the kindergarten. Stf comes almost everyday which is good for everyone, including herself.

Stfn is still absent and will probably won't come this whole week. Not only her tooth was broken, she had also told me, her beloved grandmother is in hospital living some of her last days; she is not expected to live through this weekend.

I was with Asy as usual. She hasn't told me but I need no confirmation of the fact that she is Stf's secret informer. No problem. I have nothing to hide and everything to tell. Today she told me Stf had worked so hard to catch the thief in the school. She told Asy to keep a big note in her bag after taking its photograph and to tell everyone that she had money today. She was also told to keep checking so that the moment she discovered it was stolen, all the teachers would be called and hand searched and anyone found to be doing so would be handed over to the police. She did so but nothing happened obviously because Mz/ My were included in the plan. Then the second plan was framed by leaving a big envelope of money with 'money' boldly written on it, on the staff room table with an active video camera. This plan also failed for the very same reason.

We also know now, that Athn's ( The little child in our class whose five different dresses vanished from her basket on different dates.) expensive clothes and jackets etc were stolen by Mz, though the purpose of this act was just to trouble and harass Ath's mother who happens to be Stf's friend and who has assisted Stf in several of school's works and who also pays the highest fees in the group for no reason. The new teacher who is likely to replace Stfn has also been recommended by Ath's mother as also the school's new caterer. She has become great friends with Asy and together they talk a lot on phone and share each other's every private secret now, I believe. When she heard about all the happening at the kindergarten she said she too had never liked Mz. She had noticed Mz eyeing her and her clothes very intently, so many times when she was dressing to come to the kindergarten, she would take her dress off and wear another, and yet another as she used to feel very apprehensive of Mz's spooky looks.
Mz was such a viper, she stole Athn's clothes just to give her mother an odd idea about the school and to maybe distance herself from Stf, her friend. She planned further damage by planting one of Athn's jackets in Stfn's room and H's rain pants in Stfn's room so that everybody suspected Stfn for stealing or picking up other's people's property. This also accounts for why only Athn's property was stolen and nobody else in the whole kindergarten. 

The possible motive?

I have still been unable to get rid of the whirlpool of thoughts in my mind which was suddenly formed yesterday when I discovered Mz, My's conspiracy plan. I haven't stopped thinking about this even for one single minute. Yesterday was a hectic day because of the meeting and I hadn't eaten anything the whole day. To make it worse, I couldn't even sleep at night. I kept lying awake in bed, thinking thinking thinking about Mz and My.
In the morning when I woke up, I had a strange heaviness in my heart and the feeling of an iron rod stuck in my rib cage which made it difficult for me to breathe now and then.

Stfn was absent today. Her tooth has gotten worse and she needed to stay at home. So today I was alone with Asy. Mk and Mks both were present and had already heard of everything.
Mks remarked in his characteristic down to earth, practical way.
"I am not shocked in the least. This is very normal. It happens everywhere in the world. I know very well there are people who are as good as angels towards you and they stab you in the back when they find an opportunity. I am not shocked they did this. It is something to expect from them. It is their character."

Asy asked me what could be their motive for doing this. Stf has no idea too; she speculates that maybe they were jealous of her money and status and her frequent lavish holidays. She also now recalls that My was always prying into account books and used to remark pensively that the kindergarten was having a big income.

"I have a suspicion." Said I." Mz and My were great great friends together with As, our former manager. As was fired later on charges of money theft and she joined another big kindergarten which has several branches in this city. I had noticed that My and Mz never talked about As when she was fired; they refrained from even broaching her subject. I am guessing that they continued to be close friends together even after As' dismissal. And did all this step by step, stealthily to avenge for her insult. I would not be surprised to know that now they both work in the same kindergarten as As on her recommendation.

A small talk with Mch

I had a small talk with Mch.

She admitted to me that when she had joined here in Stfn and Ndn's baby group, she was horrified. She found they were not doing many things properly. They also behaved extremely hostile towards her which made her very uncomfortable. They would remain in the same room and talk only to each other whilst completely ignoring her, shutting her out of their attention and constantly finding faults with everything that she did. She found they were also very lazy. Together they were great intimate friends and that impeded their professionalism. Within a week of their separation, when Stfn was sent to my group, Ndn became normal and now she is doing great.

"But mind you," She whispered. "Ndn is very difficult to work with. She is not an easy person."
"Yes. I know" I nodded. 

The Satan in our Kindergarten

Today we had to have a meeting.

Asy and I were talking to each other in the sleeping room. She said she believed My was good; only Mz was bad.
"I don't think so. My was definitely better than Mz but she was 50% partner in everything that Mz did so I cannot say she was good." I said.
"But why did they do all this? I think, the day Stf said to all the teachers that she could fire everyone, they got deeply hurt and offended and then they started planning to quit and tell the others to do the same."
"No Asy. So far as I know, this didn't start here or in this way. Long back ago, in October, we had a workshop in school which was attended by everyone of us. You were not in the school at that time. That day, for the first time, I heard Mz and My complaining against Stf saying that she doesn't listen to them, does whatever she wants, doesn't even pay them properly and that plenty of their money is due on her but she refuses to pay. They also reminded us that in the last session, Stf had promised to pay the teachers 100 Euros for every new admission in the group. They advised us to make a list of our grievances especially like claiming our money, so that this problem could be addressed in the right way and if she didn't then we should all resign. We agreed to make the list, and Mz immediately handed a paper and pen to Mk to do this work. Mk was reluctant and didn't do so. It was decided that in the next team meeting we all shall remind Stf of her promise and ask her to pay us the amount that was due.

That week when we had the team meeting, Stf and Mz went to have a cup of coffee whilst we waited. When they returned, before ever any teacher could say anything, Stf thundered down that we couldn't ask for more money, as we were being paid well enough already and that she took us to costly Oktoberfest Party, theater party, Christmas gift etc. etc. to compensate for the extra number of students in our group, and that she could fire everyone of us and find new replacements.
"Yes, I remember that meeting." Asy said. "It was my first meeting."
"Exactly. And I am guessing that when Mz and Stf went out to have their coffee, Mz instigated Stf that the teachers are asking for more money otherwise they will resign which infuriated Stf so much that she came and threatened to fire all of us."
"...........I see......!" She stared at me like a ghost.
"The discussion on the workshop day about being dissatisfied with Stf, spurring us to clamor for the money or else mass resignation was just a part of their plan. They wanted to create a reason for all the teachers to anger Stf and to make Stf angry with them till really either they got fired or they resigned themselves."
"We need to tell this to Stf immediately." She sprang to her feet.
"Yes, you can do so. But this is just my guess. Maybe you should ask Stf to tell you what they talked about when they went to have their coffee.

She went right away. She returned a little while later.
"You were absolutely right! I asked her if she remembered what they talked about on their cup of coffee. She said Mz was telling her that all the teachers are demanding more money otherwise they threaten to resign. They don't need to be paid as already they have been given costly parties here and there. Then I told her everything which you had told me. She was so shocked! I asked her to guess who told me this. And she took your name without any effort."
"She guessed me?"
"Ya.  And I discovered another thing. You were right in thinking My was bad. My really was bad. I was wrong to believe in her. Just few days ago the coffee machine in the school had broken down. My told us not to worry as she would ask Stf to get us a new one. The next day, she told us sadly that Stf has refused to get a new machine and has said that there was is need to drink coffee, if anyone wants coffee they should bring it from their home or buy in shop. All the teachers were very angry to hear this. The next day My brought her own old coffee machine from her home for all the teachers, since Stf had refused to do so. Well, the truth is Stf had said no such thing; in fact she said she would send her old coffee machine to school. The machine which My said was her's was actually Stf's!
Furthermore, do you know, when my money was stolen, Stf called me to ask if I suspected someone. I didn't suspect anyone because I didn't know anybody. But Stf told me that Mz and My named Stfn for the theft. They said they had seen her. And I know it wasn't Stfn."

"Hexe. Hexe." Muttered Asy. I want to throw up. This is all so disgusting."

My head was in a whirl. My own stomach was churning deep inside me. I lost myself in a maze of thoughts that went round and round till the nerves at my temple tightened up and my head started throbbing with a dull persistent ache. I remained glued at one place thinking about all this until it was time for the meeting. I went to wash my face and was stunned to see my eyes blood shot. My head was still throbbing in pain and the nerves were still taut.

The meeting was in my room. Stfn accidently broke her tooth while eating a bonbon and had to go home about an hour before the meeting. She had no money on her at that time so I lent her 50/- Euros. Mks and Mk both were absent.

Stf came. She began the meeting by saying she was happy that My and Mz were not here anymore. She said she has arranged for a new teacher to replace Mch and another to replace Stfn. She has now decided never to make a teacher her manager and never to have two managers and will try her best to be available for us rather than letting her manager run the school and so saying she broke down, wiping helpless tears off her cheek.

After she had gone we began our regular meeting. Ndn offered to preside over the meeting as I was still a bit out of my control over myself and slightly hazy due to too many thoughts in my mind.
Between Asy and myself we decided that it was important to tell everyone the truth which we had discovered today. I told everything. They all listened in stunned pin drop silence.

Talking really does help. When Asy started telling them how they had named Stfn for the thefts, we discovered that some of us had been told that Asy was the thief, still others, that Gbt was stealing! They did not like Stfn and created a negative environment bad enough for her to be thrown out by telling Stf that she was stealing, in addition to sleeping as well during her work hours!

What a conspiracy! What a cold blooded scheme! Whichever adjective I employ to describe their evil character, it still runs short of complete expression. They are the very personification of Satan himself. to think they were so young and belonged to the religious community that rather strictly adheres to the rules of righteous living, it is hard to imagine they could have planned out such a cold blooded, detailed and long term conspiracy against someone who trusted them blindly, befriended them on equal status and raised them to a great height in the very infancy of their career. They are criminals. Conspiracy against an institution is a punishable crime. They should be sued and brought to justice. At least, they should not be allowed to work in a kindergarten with small children. They are too dangerous for such a place. I wish God never pardons them for this.

"In Morocco, there is a saying," Said Asy, "that if you do something bad, it comes back to you three times. I wish whatever wrong they have done here also comes back to them three times."

A small talk with Stf

I went to the office to get money back on the two lactose free chocolates and the Easter bread which I had brought for the school for Easters. Stf was there.

By way of talking she conspiratorially asked me if Stfn had told me anything.
"About what?"
"About why she wants to leave."
"Err... she was unhappy here."
"Yes, I know." She nodded. "She said the same to me. I even apologized to her and said I didn't mean to hurt her feelings but..." She sighed deeply.
"I love this school, Stf and feel deeply concerned for it. It is not my business to advise or inform you. I believe you are a very clever business woman and know what you have to do. But my personal opinion is this school need good teachers especially right now. Mk, Ndn, Stfn they all are good teachers. I didn't know anything about Stfn earlier as she was in the baby group. My timings are different. I come at 9- leave at 2 and in between 9-2 I am always with the children. I don't have time to talk to other teachers more than a casual Hi, Hello. When she came to my group I noticed she is a good teacher. It would be a pity to lose good teachers especially if they are also old. My personal suggestion is to stop them from going. The situation right now is very critical. The new ones who have joined take fright and quit totally without reason."
She nodded thoughtfully.
"Yes, I know, but Stfn has decided she wants to leave. Mk and Ndn as well. It is their decision. What can I do?"
"Nobody can force anyone of course but negotiation might still do a lot of things. I really think Mk etc should be stopped from leaving. I would prefer Mk to be the manager as he is a very good person and has a good public image."
"I asked him to be the manager but he refused saying he is not a leader person."
"He doesn't have to lead an army!"
"I have called someone from outside. Maybe this one works...!"

She was looking real troubled and worried. She is bound to be. But if I know her at all, she will pull herself out of this black hole soon.... and I wish her all the best!
My heart has been writhing in anguish at the mess this school is in right now. Every single moment of the day I keep thinking about the school. My last thought before falling asleep is about the school and also the first one on waking up. Between waking up in the morning each day to falling asleep every night whatever I do, whether bathing, worshiping, cooking, eating, commuting or even while having intimate moments with S, it is just the school thoughts that swim about in my head in endless circles.

 In the midst of all this, I had almost completely forgotten that I too have to leave soon....!

Farewell of Mz and My

I was about as excited for this farewell as probably they must have been themselves...I wanted to know what would happen today and how. A villain's downfall is particularly interesting, the worse it is, the better. One last crime I would accuse them of committing is corrupting my (and the other's out there in the staff, ) thoughts. I normally don't go about wishing people to hell and derive satisfaction and delight in watching people roll down the hill but in this case I did so and am still doing. The common maxim: if you live with bad people, you become one!

The first surprise I received was a big box of color pens in H's basket; no name or message, just the box. I shoved the box into another basket. It must have been from My. and I had no mind to receive any gift from them!

The hall had been prepared for the party already with tables and chairs laid out. The children were led out and seated at the proper places. I saw My, looking quite beautiful in her long skirt, a waist jacket and her matching scarf. I said hello to her and she made a move as though she wanted to come over and give me a hug but I got busy with the children and avoided that. I saw Mz and greeted her politely. She too wanted to come over and hug me but I avoided that. The party began as usual.

Stfn and Mks introduced the party in German and English respectively. Then the gift was handed out. There was a deep silence as My received her gift. Everyone was watching her intently knowing she was going to get a rude shock. Her gift was a haphazard collection of A4 pages colored by little children punched together in a yellow cover and a packet of chocolate, the cheapest one! None of this even gift wrapped as if the school had decided they didn't deserve even a gift wrap paper! My was thrown off her guard. She was expecting a decent gift. She flicked through the papers muttering loudly, "Oh, das ist so schone" whilst striving hard to not to show her insult and indignation. She looked like she will break into tears any moment. If I hadn't known her, I would have ascribed this forceful stifling of tears as a mark of grief and emotion one naturally feels on one's rightful farewell.

Next was Mz's turn. She too received the same fate, just a little better as she got a tiny plant and a small box of chocolates. The plant pot was foil wrapped just to stop her from committing suicide or maybe murder someone an hour later! Her group children had brought the same A4 paper drawings and coloring for her which they handed to her now and she accepted to throw in a trash bin later.

There was an uncomfortable silence! Everyone knew what was going on in their minds and nobody cared!

Moving the party forward, Stfn invited My and Mz to say something.
"Something what?" Asked My still recovering from the rude shock.
"It's your farewell. Maybe you want to say something to the children"
"Something like what?"
"Well, tschuss maybe?" Suggested Stfn.
"Okay, Tschuss. Bye bye." Mz replied without any emotion.

They wanted a farewell only to get a gift. No gift, no farewell.

Next was Mk's birthday. In stark contrast to the insipid, worse than lukewarm affair of Mz and My, Mk's birthday was celebrated with quite a noise, cheer and zest! We sang birthday song for him, clapped for him, thumped the tables deafeningly for him and presented him a nicely wrapped gift of movie tickets. He was visibly happy and Mz and My were visibly mortified. I should feel bad for them now but I didn't. Nobody did.
We were going to start handing out the cakes now but Mz and My halted us.
"We have gifts to give to our colleagues." They announced and with that started giving each one of us a small glass tea light-candle, foil wrapped quite nicely. Attached with this was a beautiful postcard with picture of beautiful flowers and handwritten " Everything that seems like an end can also be a new beginning" Signed Mz and My.
We all accepted the gift coolly just saying a polite 'Thank you' and nothing else. No use throwing a gift on us now; we know you for what you are and are not liking you anymore.

The children were busy eating and drinking lots of goody goody stuff; chips, wafer biscuits, gummibears, 3-4 different variety of cakes etc. I believe they had been brought by them. Not surprisingly, all the teachers refrained from partaking any of their stuff.

Mz came up to me. Her very last complain:
"You know, we deposited money for everyone every month but we haven't got any gift. This is so bad. We should have got a farewell gift since we worked hard here for three years but..." She laughed uncomfortably.
"Now that we don't belong to this place anymore, people have changed towards us. Mcl is angry with me. He is not even looking at me or talking to me. I tried to say hello to him but he looked away and ignored me. How sad!"

They left an hour later saying bye to everyone personally. My came and hugged me and Mz requested me to stay in touch. She jotted down her mobile number on a piece of paper for me and then that was the last of them. At least in person. The whole day everyone kept talking about how bad they had been to everyone and how glad we all were to see the last of them.

Jrn, whom I had previously accused of being shamefully servile, docile and unmanly in his demeanour and attitude, found his tongue at last. I heard him speak for the first time and couldn't help admiring his repressed vehemence in everything he spoke.
"That Mz? I have done several type of jobs in my life but never had I seen a worse person or a worse manager. The two females abused their position of authority to a mad scale. They were least bothered about anyone else. They have incurred a great loss to the school by serving all these three years. They did nothing in class. I know this because I was with Mz for four months. It was a proper hell working with her. She was always shouting, fighting, complaining, throwing tantrums, doing nothing and walking out banging the doors on her back. You could not talk two minutes with her without leading to an ugly argument. Discussion or reason of any sort was plainly impossible with her. To speak honestly, I hated both of them."

It is just a great tragedy that they left when many others have already left or plan to leave soon which was abetted by their bad behavior. If I begin counting since the time of my joining, more than fifteen teachers have had to quit their job directly or indirectly because of Mz and My. In the last two months alone more than five teachers have resigned or planning to quit soon. Mk is three years old and is the oldest one in the school followed by me who is two years old in the school.

 Good teachers are costly but bad teachers cost much more. Can anyone still dare disagree?

Preparation for Mz and My's farewell

Tomorrow Mz and My have their farewell! 

Originally, I had planned to abscond from school that day. I would hate myself to return their smiles and hugs and tell them that I was sorry when I was not. When they had informed me about their farewell date, Mz and My had both hinted to me that they wanted nice presents from the school just like Cl.

I wanted to confirm if we needed to make a gift for their farewell because I didn't want to make one.

I asked Mk and he replied that he didn't want either but just for courtesy's sake he will prepare a card made by children only for My "because she was my group's teacher last year. For Mz, I will make nothing. She was horrible."

Stfn was also ready to make a card colored by children even though she didn't want either.

I asked Mk and his reply was one I shall remember all my life.

"A gift for those traitors? I am not a fool. They both were horrible. I am glad that they are gone. They are not fit to serve in any school. Ask me what gift I want to give them. I shall pack my poop in a nice packet and give them with the note written on top, "Look, this is what I think about you and this is what you deserve."

We laughed till we ripped our sides. His reply is not just funny but brutally truthful. 

I told him that I had originally planned to be absent tomorrow just to avoid confronting them again. He laughed again.

"You are not the only one who thought this. I,Jrn, Mcl and Mk all planned they won't come but they are coming. At least I am coming. And Gbt will come late, after the party is over."

"Gbt too?"

"Yes. Because they are both so insolent and insulting towards her. She cannot stand their sarcasm and acidic comments. Lat time when they were here they made it hell for her."

Honestly, now I think so too, that it would be an unusual farewell and worth watching. Let's see what happens tomorrow. It is also possible that they don't show up after all...!

Mch and Jrn are also leaving...!

Today I learnt that Mch is leaving too and Jrn has been told to go as he isn't qualified for this work. Everyone in the school knew; I was the only one who didn't.

I talked to Mch and she told me that she is leaving because of her studies. She wants to work and study together which is not possible with this job.
"Are you a bit scared of this school?" I asked.
"To be frank, yes. In the beginning I was terribly nervous with the people over here. I still cannot understand what's happening in this school. But this is not the reason for my resigning."

Then she hugged me." I liked you. You were so nice to me. In fact I found you are the only nice one over here."

What an irony! The whole catastrophe was brought about by Mch replacing Stfn and Stfn refusing to do so. And they both resigned on the same day! If Mch had never come in this school, or had resigned a few days earlier, everything would be different.

"I feel terribly terribly sad." I said to Mks. "It is almost tragic, the way everyone is leaving here. All the people whom I knew have gone. I just see new faces around me whom I don't know well enough and there is no point in knowing them well enough - they will go soon too."
He broke out laughing.
"There is nothing tragic here, I assure you. This is fairly common in schools or any organisation. People come and go. They are free to go. That Stfn is a bastard. I am still shocked that you sing her praises. She was fit to go and I am glad that she is leaving. How can you praise someone who used to sleep with children and babies around her during her working time? Do you know, both Ndn and Stfn were so friendly, they used to arrange for each other to sleep during their work time and nobody knew because their room was remote. You want to know more? They did nothing with the babies there. They taught nothing. This is not a day care or a baby creche where babies are only taken care of. This is a school and even babies need to be taught something. So, Stfn is leaving purely out of her choice. Mch is leaving because of her studies. Mk and Ndn will at the end of this session. They have their own issues. They both are good teachers and I would like them to stay but personally I always thought, Mk is a bit strange fellow, nice but strange, nevertheless."

Stfn is resigning...!

Today the school reopened after the ten days long Easter vacation. It seemed sort of odd and strangely unfamiliar to see the school in proper order after the mad chaos of the past few days.
Jln was back after her wedding; Mcl was back too. Both Mcl and Jrn looked after Mz's children and God knows if Izb was there or not - I didn't see her.

During our morning circle time, Stfn broke the news - as yet unofficial - that she has obtained a new job and is going to leave soon.
"I don't know whether to be happy or sad with this news." Said I. "It is sad for me to lose you after Cl now, especially as we had struck a nice friendship as well as coordination in work together; but I am also happy for you because new job for you means better career opportunity."

I was in the sleeping room when I met Stf outside, tanned as black as coal from the exotic holiday of hers.
"I have a request to make of you." She said." I am sending someone to meet you tomorrow and you have to show her around the school, explain how you work in the school and in the group and everything. She will replace Stfn. I have terminated my contract with her as she wanted to leave. Anyways she was not happy here so I have told her to go. But Shhh! Don't say this anyone yet."

I nodded. She then stooped down, for she is really very tall, and hugged me tightly. When she straightened up again her eyes were glistening with tears. My heart melted then and there.
"Stf, don't worry. Everything will be fine. You are such a courageous, brave, intelligent woman. When you fired Mz and My I truly bowed to your courage. The surprising thing is everybody knew the truth about those two ladies, everyone. You were the only one not to know about them!"
"And nobody came and told me" She smiled sardonically. "Well, anyways, we will solve this problem together."
"Yes, and everything will be fine." We smiled at each other and separated.

I have to resign...

A big change is waiting for me just round the corner!

S has been offered a new job in a new company in another city in Germany! We have to relocate in roughly two months time. This means it's time to say my farewell to my beloved kindergarten...!

My heart has turned as heavy as lead in my chest. I have lived a full life in this kindergarten full of love, hate, happiness, sorrow, elation, depression everything. I found new genuine friends, I rediscovered myself, reinvented myself and was blissfully basking in the glory of all encompassing admiration, satisfaction and happiness of parents, colleagues, children and even my employer. I loved being part of this school and learnt so much. I was able to better myself and better the school. I cherish each and every moment spent here. Though I always knew it was not for ever still, the idea to leave it now is grieving my heart. Its not just a farewell to my beloved school, it is, in all probability, also a farewell to my beloved job and my rediscovered freedom and passion.
 I cannot say, I will be lucky enough to find another similar job in the new city.  S and I have begun planning our second baby. I used to gloat over the idea that I could enjoy maternity benefits while being employed here. But now the situation will be different. If I fall pregnant, no institution would hire me; if I get a job and fall pregnant, I will have to discontinue and spend the next several months even a year or more without a job. More than less money inflow, remaining out of job for me, also spells remaining away from my passionate activity..

The situation for me is pretty bleak. I lose my job and H's free education. There is no surety of finding another job in that city on similar terms..... 

Mk's Honest Answer

I learnt that Mk had been offered the post of manager to replace My and Mz but he declined immediately.

"But why did you reject? I think you would have been a good manager." I told him.
"I have three reasons for rejecting the offer." He answered with a sublime smile. "First, I am not a leader type of person. I do not have leadership qualities, not even managerial ones. I cannot order others to do this and that. In situations of crisis, like we are having right now, I can not decide. I agree, I am a very good follower. You tell me something to do, and I will do it more nicely than you expected, but that's it. I am a very good number two person but I am decidedly not a number one person.

The second reason is this kindergarten itself. We all know how this kindergarten is lead and managed. I don't like it. I would hate to be a manager of such an institution which doesn't follow fair and just rules. For all I know, today she will make the manager and tomorrow throw me out on any false pretext.

The third reason is my personal one. Ndn is girlfriend, as you know. If I became the manager, it would be awkward to give orders to her as my junior and consequently it would strain my relationship with her.
That's it."

I admit I was not surprised to learn that he had been offered manager post now. It was high time he was! He is good, qualified, trained and well meaning. I am surprised by the honest of his reasons. There are very few people who would admit their weakness even to themselves let alone with others. For instance, when My and Mz were offered this post, they accepted it without thinking that they were not 'manager material' and didn't have even the basic skills required to do this job. End result? They messed up everything, at least with children, staff, parents and school reputation.

I hugely admire Mk for being this brutally honest with himself; he has risen manifolds in my opinion of him which needless to say again was already quite high.
 But there is something that he is missing out. He is underrating himself and that is his current fault right now and not the absence of leadership in him. Leadership ( or no leadership) of course makes a huge difference but in the current scenario, more than a leader, a person is needed who is popular, well liked and one with good intentions amongst the staff and parents. I am hundred percent sure he is capable of doing this and will be able to do it. As he says he is a good second man, we can make him do it if he thinks he doing his bidding and not really leading.

I will talk to him about this when the school.

I myself, would have loved to do this job but first off, I won't be offered as only Germans can be given this post and even if this rule could be relaxed, my stay in Germany is indefinite....

The last day of the Chaos and the Easter Celebration

Today was the last day of the chaos as we had the Easter party in the kindergarten. The school would now close for a long ten days vacation! How we all were waiting for it!

Stfn is a big lazy mutt, after all! It takes a herculean effort to raise her up or even to make her want to do something; and should any chance excuse present itself, then God forbid, she becomes totally immovable physically as well as mentally. It was she who decided the school couldn't look after so many kids; she decided to send as many children back home as possible; she made faces for the three/four children who stayed full time till evening because she had to supervise them; and now on pretext of less teachers she decided we need not have Easter party as well. "We don't need to do anything extra. Just sing a song and go for egg hunt, that's it!"
I was so frustrated with her indolent inactive brazen attitude. I shall do the best that I am capable of in the circumstances. I told myself.

It being the last day of the school, there were fewer children, at least in my group. We had only six children in our group and full attendance i.e. thirteen children in Mz's group. Like yesterday, we were to look after both the groups together and the rest of the groups were fine with their own respective teachers.

I started my morning circle without letting Stfn take another drastic decision that 'There is no need to do this..' and narrated the Jesus story to the children explaining why we celebrate Easter and how. Lm who had played the part of king Herod in my play was also there and I was so glad that he knew the entire Jesus story and I made him narrate it in his own way. He really knew everything!

I requested Stfn to do the entire thing in German. She winced and moaned and proceeded to do so with visible displeasure and such an effort as if she had been asked to climb Mount Everest.
While we were thus engaged who should walk in our classroom? None other than Mz and My!
We stared at them open mouthed and none too pleased. Why are they here? I wondered and just hoped they were not going to come back again. That was too bad even to imagine.
They kept talking in German to Stfn, Ndn and Asy while I tried my best to concentrate on the morning circle.

I learnt with great relief that they had just come to visit the kindergarten. They then visited all the other groups too. Significantly, Gbt went out of the kindergarten and was not seen till the end of the day!
After about an hour they went away.
They will have their farewell when the school reopens after Easter holidays. This is without doubt, the Parent's committee work!

Before going, I had a talk with Mk. I was surprised to hear that he too didn't approve of Stfn's decision.
He sighed," She was unstoppable. We, i.e. I and Ndn, tried telling her not to do so but she didn't listen. How could she do this? But you know what, she is right."
"What do you mean?"
"In Germany, only German teachers are considered as teachers. So technically at that time there really were only three teachers in the kindergarten; you, Mk, Mr etc could not be counted. And just three teachers are legally not allowed to look after so many children- not even with the help of other non German teachers- because if something happens to any child at such a time, then the German teacher would be held responsible. If I had been in her place I would have shut the place too."
"You too?" I cried incredulously.
"Yes. Me too. Because if something happens to any child under my care, then I will be responsible."
"So it is just this feeling of fear and risk that something will happen! Is it not the same everyday? Everyday we look after so many children and do various tasks with them. How can we prevent ourselves from taking any decision just because it involves minor risk. Isn't there similar risk in boarding your train, a flight or adventure sports too?" Everything we do has some risk attached to it but we don't stop living because of this. Sorry, but I really find this idea horrifying that we cannot handle a minor situation just because of a remote sense of risk!"

The school has now closed down for the Easter vacation of ten days....!

The Third Day of the Chaos.

Today was the third day of the chaos and appeared to be gently subsiding now having damaged everything that it was capable of in the last two days.

Fortunately Mk and Jr, (both the teachers for the second senior group) had returned back to work after their sick leave which left only Mz's group without teachers. We agreed to look after both the groups together. Everything went fine.

Both Ndn and Stfn looked a bit serious and slightly stiff and cold towards me. "Is anything the matter?" I asked Ndn apprehensively.
"No no, we both are unwell." She said hurriedly. I was relieved. Later, however, I saw Mk and he too appeared strangely cold and distant towards me. There was something in his eye which I had never seen before. Not at all his usual warm friendly self. I asked him the same question if he was angry with me but he too denied it by saying that his kids were horrible today so he was just angry with the kids and thoroughly stressed out. We didn't get time to speak to each other at all.

While we were having our morning circle, Athn's mother called on phone to ask if she could now send Athn to school. Mks asked what reply should he give to her. Before Stfn or Ndn could start shaking their heads from east to west saying "No, please", both I and Asy yelled loudly," Yesssss. She can come. There is noooo problem." I was so afraid to look at Stfn and Ndn after this.

I offered to do some activity with the bigger kids as I was sick of seeing them just play, play, play and do nothing else since the last three days, especially since they are big enough to do plenty of activities by themselves.
"I don't think this is a good idea" Stfn shook her head as she always does at everything. I have begun to think her head only knows this movement. "The weather is fine and sunny and we should take them out to play in the park after the snack. This way we can take care of them better."
"Of course we shall all go out. I just think an activity would be nicer with them so that the parents do not think the children haven't done anything in the school."
"We don't need to worry about this at all! "She exclaimed shocked by this idea. "They know the kids are without their teachers. They should be thankful of this fact alone that the kids have at least been properly taken care of. Nobody will ask you why nothing was done with them."
"Well, yes, you are right but I still prefer to do something with them."
"Okay. Then, it is your decision." making me feel as if  I was going to pronounce death sentence to someone's whose guilt I wasn't sure of and which could create a serious irrevocable damage to all people concerned.

I arranged the whole activity which consisted of making an Easter bunny with cotton wool. The children liked doing the cutting pasting and creating stuff and I was happy for them. I could feel both Stfn and Ndn's heat on my back and I couldn't say I didn't care. My worries were increasing by leaps and bounds at this turn of the situation. I like both Stfn and Ndn.(The others as well) and would hate to offend them; I do not want them to be in trouble but neither do I agree with their wrong decisions. I think they are feeling bad that I am not thinking like them, taking reigns in my hands for small issues and not agreeing with them.

During the sleeping time I had a talk with Asy again. A lot more secret news tumbled out of the cupboards.
Asy is fully realizing how Stfn is making blunders and together Ndn and Stfn are trying to prevent me from doing right things. Sometimes it almost looks like they have a malicious intent of making things deliberately go from bad to worse so they can accuse Stf that it was because of her own decisions that it happened.
That girl Athn's mother called Asy on her mobile and told her everything how her daughter was sent back home. At the moment the mother is undergoing a lot of personal problems, the girl is staying with her grand mother and comes to school from a far off place which takes two hours to travel just one side. She was also angry that she is paying such a hefty amount to the school to let her daughter attend the school for just three days a week and even that the school has problems in doing.

We both were so sorry for her. Letting Athn stay would not have posed any difficulty to us. After all, many other children who were being sent away were brought back and they all as well as we all were absolutely okay. I was sure, if I had been present when Stfn forced Athn to go back, I would have brought her back like the others.

Asy told me that Stfn is also floating that she received an sms from Stf that she was allowed to send children back and that Stf  has also sent an email to parents requesting them to keep their children at home if it was possible. This is not true. No such thing has been done.

Asy also received a call from none other than My, shedding tears on the phone and saying that what Gbt and Stf are saying is not true. She has heard that the school is in chaos and wanted to know what was wrong. But Asy swiftly answered that nothing was wrong and whatever it was, we handled it nicely. Cleaver that My was, she didn't disclose to Asy that she was being requested by the Parents committee (through the school's cashier/accountant/Stf's friend ) to come back for a short time!

I was talking to Jr and he revealed another interesting point.
"I can't understand why such an uproar about shortage of teachers has been created. Two weeks ago, when you were absent, we were just five or six teachers in the school lesser than what we are now. Nobody said there was any shortage. Why should they say it now when we are actually more than that number? It's nothing new and we didn't have any great difficulty in managing. Why is this situation being treated like it were a Tsunami or something?"

It is all work of Stfn and her super negative, helpless attitude of "No, it can't be done. It is very difficult. We can't do it."

There is a new admission in our school amid this chaos. An Indian boy. Everybody was so engrossed that  the poor boy and his shy hesitant mother were not noticed by anybody. I offered to guide her and informed her about everything feeling so ashamed of the whole situation.
Today, I saw the father and boy Pv is his name, standing outside my classroom.
"I am standing here since half an hour." He said patiently. "There was nobody to tell me where I should take him."
I was so sorry for him. I took him to Mk but Mk almost rudely bluntly replied:
"No. He is not in my group. He is in Mz's group."
"What? But I was told he is in your group?"
"No. He is not in mine."
"And where is Mz's group?
"I don't know."

I again cut a sorry figure in front of him. He was smiling sarcastically at me. I brought him back to my room and apologized for the confusion. I felt so angry that I had to be ashamed in front of a parent, and double angry that they all want to decide important things and make stumbling blocks where as no body was bothered to handle smaller things like helping a new parent and a new child in the school.

After hearing everything Asy says: this is all Stfn's fault. She had no right to do this and she has deliberately done like this. When she is warned that Stf will be angry, she says she doesn't care- it is Stf's fault. When she is told that the parents were angry, she is secretly pleased and again says, "They have a right to be: they are angry because of Stf's fault." As if she wanted the parents to be angry to make Stf feel bad, frustrated or pressurized.

And amid all this, I am getting that uncomfortable feeling that I am earning everybody's hatred and resentment.
Stfn, Ndn and Mk have begun to dislike me....!

The second day of chaos

Today I went in early, anticipating a continuation of yesterday's chaos. We all were hoping that today the student turn out would be nearly half less or even lesser, considering yesterday's plight but amazingly it turned out to be even more than that of yesterday as if the parents were being cheeky and wanted to see for them selves how and what we do now! But we were more mentally prepared today.
I saw Mtn. He asked me about the situation and I hinted that it was again like yesterday but we were more prepared today and that from tomorrow the situation will begin to improve. A parent whose girl I had taught two sessions ago, talked to me expressing his disgust for the management which can't resolve simple issues like this and his admiration and praise for me and the other teachers who always do their job so well which is why he continues to keep his daughter in this kindergarten. The same old story and so similar for everyone....!

Stfn looked at the crowd of children in deep chagrin. She hadn't stopped persuading all the parents to take their children back if they could. One child of my class Athn arrived with her grandmother and was forcibly coaxed to go back; the grandmother first pleaded with Stfn to let her stay as she had a problem with her car and taking her back was difficult. But Stfn was adamant. The grandmother became so angry! She took her back of course but with bad feelings. I felt so bad when I heard about this incident through Asy later.

Before Stfn could entertain the idea of doing something hokus pokus like taking them to the gym for morning circle, I gathered all the children, about thirty three, and started doing morning circle. Everyone became quiet and disciplined and the morning circle went by very fine indeed. We had to take them to toilet. I wanted to take them all together; we could finish the small children first and let the other bigger children go in the second toilet by themselves. But Stfn said, "No. It will be too much. We must only take them group by group and not all together."
I almost lost my temper...!

The rest of the day was just like yesterday: playing free everywhere in our room and the hall and letting them do nothing while the teachers kept watch over them. Ndn and I completed the Easter baskets and after that I took some bigger children to the gym to play games with them. Even this Stfn was't allowing me to do. She  said she wanted all the kids to be together so that we do not have to worry if someone is missing.

Asy and I talked together again, in the sleeping room when the children were asleep. I told her I strongly felt that Stfn's decision to send the children back was not right and this error could get her into trouble. As teachers we should be able to handle this rather than telling them to go back which sounds so humiliating and shameful.

 Mch agreed with me and seemed pretty disturbed that she might get in hot water for this. She keeps reminding everyone: "I didn't do anything. It was not my decision."

I had begun to feel really worried about Stfn now. I went and talked to her: She on the contrary seemed least bothered.
"No. I won't fall in any trouble. It is Stf's fault. She fired both Mz and My and didn't even tell the rest of the staff what they were supposed to do and herself is now on a holiday and unreachable through phone or mail. Now we are without sufficient teachers, no manager, no instructions on how to deal with this and plus have to face all the parents' resentment for My and Mz's sudden dismissal and answer all their uncomfortable questions."
I, however, am less confident. In fact I am sure the next trouble we are going to have is to face Stf's wrath.
I still think, Stfn overreacted on the situation and took extreme step which resulted in further trouble. Her response to parents,"Oh, there is teacher shortage today, can you please take your child back home?" just pressed the panic button in the entire parents' community which was just not needed. I mean, if she had managed to keep silent until all the teachers had arrived and then discussed the situation among us, we might have been able to handle 70/80 children without much trouble and the parents would also not have felt weird and panicky.

Ll's mother came to pick her up and asked courteously how was the day today.
"It was absolutely okay. We did have a lot of children, but we managed and there were no problems at all. We had our combined morning circle, snack and lunch, we played games, sang songs, heard stories and made our Easter baskets-"
"Wow! So the daily activities continued as usual! That's sounds impressive! You people have even been able to do the activity which you planned."
"Err, no. I would have loved to do that but no. We just finished the Easter baskets, that's all. We have to have them ready for Thursday's Easter party, you see."
"You know, yesterday there was such chaos in the school. Everybody was being told to go back and-"
"Yes, I know and I feel so sorry about it. Actually there was a shortage of teacher and as you know, My and Mz were also suddenly not there. The teachers panicked; and what happens when you panic? There are more mistakes and more confusion!"
"Everybody was so confused and angry. But the moment they saw you walking in the school, they calmed down suddenly feeling relieved. They all said,"Oh, she is here. Everything will be okay." You are so calm, stable and confident and you spoke to so many parents telling them to not worry, that they were all relieved and relaxed. We felt so thankful that you were there. I noticed and the others as well, that you were so sure there was no problem and whatever there was you could manage it. We brought our children back confidently. You are really nice!"

I just couldn't believe my ears. Needless to say, I was so happy to hear that. But I still can't believe it. I am sure by "everyone" she only means Ls's mother and/or maybe Ksk's mother...
I cannot even tell this to the others! the will think,"Oh, so do you mean to point out we were fool?"


The parents committee has sent a mail to all the parents, detailing them of the current situation and has suggested to bring back My and Mz at least for a short time to combat this shortage. The committee is also trying to organize their farewell! No! For God's sake...not this, please!
I feel like puking....

Discovery about As, the old boss!

A new teacher Tn, from Nigeria, has joined our staff today as an English teacher. She had worked here two months ago for three days in Mz's group.

Today was her first day and she and I were walking down to the station to catch our train. She was apparently taken by completely surprise at the panic and the chaos in the school on her very first day. She was extremely baffled and stressed too.Then she started telling me something which made me sit up.

She told me she was working with another teacher of this school in another school.
"A tall, bulky bossy woman with long hair. As"
"As?"
"Ya ya. You might find it interesting that last year I had come to this very school to apply for the post of a teacher. The door was opened by you. You took me to the manager and she was the manager. She was so horribly rude to me that I cannot describe to you. "No. We don't have any place for you. You go."
You witnessed it and felt bad for me perhaps. You expressed that you were sorry you couldn't do anything for me. You were so kind. You were the only one who spoke so nicely to me. I obtained job in another kindergarten. A few months later, who should walk into my room? This As! She had joined that kindergarten and was in my own group. She didn't recognize me and I didn't disclose. It is a small world. Better be nice to everyone."

Mtn's mail

I was astonished to find several interesting mails in my inbox today - which I hadn't expected.

First there was Stf's general mail to all the parents in honey sweet words saying she was sorry to inform them that "Our valued teacher My and Mz have resigned and will regretfully quit the school on 1st of April.' without elaborating the reason why they were doing so.

The second mail was that of the parents committee to all the parents telling them that unfortunately My and Mz were quitting and they wanted the management to negotiate and postpone their resignation till the session end or at least till two weeks so that the children could say a proper farewell to them.

Yet a third one was from none other than Mtn himself telling me that he had been requested by Stf to change the password immediately so he was giving me the new password and requested me to pass it on to the other teachers as well as he didn't have their personal email ids.

I smiled to myself. Mz and My have managed to dig such a big pit for the school and Stf herself, yet look at their deftness in diabolicalness. The parents and the children think the world of them and are trying to forestall their resignation.

I wrote back to Mtn through another mail id that he need not waste his sentiments on them - they deserved this fate.

Chaos! Chaos!! Chaos!!!

Today, as I was about to board my train to school, I received Stfn's call. She asked me if I was coming to school.
"Of course." I replied, baffled. "What's the matter?"
"Please don't come to school. Today there are only three teachers yet in the school - all the rest are ill. We also do not have any manager now nor is Stf, the boss available on phone or mail; so we have to decide amongst ourselves. We can't manage the kindergarten with just three or four teachers so we are closing down."
"But we don't have the authority to close. We have to manage anyhow. We can't close."

The fool that I was, I came back home, rang the school again and this time Ndn spoke to me who agreed that we couldn't close down.

I started for school once again, cursing myself for having wasted a good half hour already.
Even the train was late and kept stopping in the tunnel every five minutes or so. The main train station was simply speaking a sea of passengers!

Just outside the school building I saw Ll's mother and Ls's mother.
"We are taking our children back home."
"Why?" I cried.
"There is shortage of teachers in school. Our children can't be very well taken care of."
"Of course not. There are, indeed a few teachers who are sick and then there was some problem with the train due to which some other teachers,me and Asy as instance got very late. But this does not mean in the least that you need to take your child home. Please come."
"To tell the truth, I am a bit glad to see you. I would have felt very uneasy leaving Ll in this situation, but I think I can now leave her safely in the kindergarten."

I brought back both Ls and Ll. On the way, I met another truly baffled parent who wanted to know what the hell was wrong."Nothing at all. Just that, a few teachers are absent due to being sick and others got delayed due to something wrong with the train. Everything is okay now." I reassured him and he was okay.

As I entered the school, I was disconcerted to see so many panicked parents talking to all the equally panicked teachers. The expressions on their faces were enough indication that they were revealing the whole Mz-My episode in full details.
"Are...you...sure..., Ls...will...be...okay...if...I...leave...him?" Ls's mother wailed at my elbow.

"Why did you lie to me? You said the train was late, but here all the other teachers are telling me that there is shortage of teachers in the school." I heard someone, probably Ll's mother say this Asy.

I whispered to Asy who was as totally shocked and disconcerted as I was." They are telling all the parents about Mz and My. I can't imagine. We don't need to do that. It is our kindergarten's private matter. We don't need to tell them this. We should be discreet."
"They are telling everything...Oh no! It is so shameful...!"

"Do...you...really...think...Ls...will...be...okay?... He...was...ill...this...morning...."
"Is he unwell?"
"No...But...he...has...a...runny...nose.... And....he...didn't....eat....anything... in... the... morning-"
"Please go. He WILL be okay. Don't worry."
"You.... think... so....?"
I wish I could kick that woman out of the building.

The first disconcerting factor having faded, the other one emerged. There did not appear to be a teacher shortage after all, at least not bad enough to close down. There were total eight teachers out of fourteen and about 55 children. And many children had already been sent back and many were being persuaded to do so if it were possible for them. It now dawned on me why Ls' mother and Ll's mother were taking their children back- because they had been told to so. And I brought them back and couldn't understand why Stfn and Ndn looked puzzled to see them in the class.

To tell the truth, I felt furious, distressed and frustrated at the way together Ndn and Stfn had decided there was an emergency and should either close down or send as many children back as possible. They continued to bumble in one disastrous step to another until it was a complete torture to watch them.

God knows why they thought that fifty five children could not be managed by eight teachers or why they felt that this situation had something to do with Mz/My's termination.

They decided to have a merged morning circle of all the children together instead of letting them go to their respective groups and relaxing the tension build up. Meanwhile I managed to assure another parent- Ksk's mother- that he would be okay if she left him here, nothing to worry so not to take him back home only to discover later that Stfn had rang her up to come back and take Ksk back home. Phew!!!

When the assembly was over, they announced that only ten children at a time would have their snack in the kitchen, while the rest will be made to engage in free play in the hall. Mks and Gbt were managing their group separately.
"But why can't we have the snack in our room as usual? 12 children in our room, 12 children in the kitchen and the rest can wait. Isn't it possible?" I protested.
"No, it is not possible. I have not prepared their snack. It will take time." Stfn replied.
"Preparing musli and milk doesn't need any preparation or time." I suggested but Stfn had made up her mind already that she wanted things to be done the difficult and complicated way rather than simple and easy one.
So the children kept playing while at a snail's pace ten ten children finished their snack. It took ages to get finished with just 35 children.

"The snack is over but I have no idea what to do about the lunch."Stfn sighed deeply.
"I have a plan, if you want to listen to it." Said I. " We eat the lunch together, ten bigger children in kitchen, the rest twenty five in our room with more chairs."
"Oh, yes. That sounds good." She exclaimed.

We brought some extra chairs and an extra table and soon all the children were sitting in a neat order, eating their food in perfect discipline. We had no difficulty in serving food or cleaning up and absolutely none at all in getting lunch managed.
'I wish they had done like this at the snack time too. There was so much confusion at that time and now look this appears so good and orderly. Absolutely no confusion or chaos." Asy whispered to me.

For the sleeping time, luckily Stfn and Ndn didn't much exert their brains so every group slept as usual except my group which slept with the baby group. Ksk mother came to collect ksk at 12. 30 - his usual time and I saw Stfn talk to her, persuading her to "not to bring him to school if it was possible as we have a teacher shortage..." Arrgh!
Ksk's mother has agreed to keep him at home the week now.

I had a talk with Mchl. She too appeared rather off set and disgusted at the way our school's private affairs were made shamelessly public by all the teachers in the morning.

I was watching over the sleeping kids when Asy started chatting with me in hushed whispers as the children were asleep. She asked me what could be the reason behind Mz and My's treachery. Did Stf do something to them, maybe some injustice or bad behavior?
"I don't think so. My and Mz didn't have good character. They were not honest. They wanted more and more money, more and more power. They probably wanted more salary. They were also disgruntled by the fact that they rather had to work a lot without getting the money they desired. So they decided to teach Stf a lesson by plotting like this."
"You say, My and Mz were not good. Why? I think Mz was a very good teacher. And My was also nice."
"There can't be worse teachers than Mz and My. They didn't do anything with the children. And they were bad enough to get other teachers fired for their own personal reasons."
"Ya ya. Once I was talking to Stf and she had told me that I need not take notice of Mz as she is very jealous and many times she gets teachers fired because of her jealously."
"What?"
"Err, nothing. I just heard that she was jealous. I have to go now for my cigarette break. I will come later."
 She abruptly changed the subject and didn't talk about it again.
Apparently this remark had just dropped out of her mouth without her intention.


Now I know something else. Asy is Stf's secret informer in the school.

Once in the beginning she had told us that she knew Stf through her boyfriend. Once there was a rumor that although she works here for only five hours like me, her salary is by far heftier than even Mz or My. I had dismissed this rumor because she had herself told me once that she gets only 400 Euros which is very less and she wants more money. I had felt sorry for her for earning so less, apart from her modelling job but it is fact that she is not only the best looking female in the whole school, she is also the best dressed female in the school; furthermore she never appears like she has less money. Her dresses, shoes, bags, car, dogs, even magazines which she brings to school to read all suggest that in fact she is quite wealthy.

In the past she had similarly dropped unguarded remarks like: "I was talking to Stf and told her you don't need any watch over this group; these two are so dedicated they work hard without anyone telling them.'
and, " Stf asked me if it was okay to admit more children in this group." This remark in particular had baffled both me and Cl as we wondered why would Stf ask this question to Asy who is just one month old in the school, does not know any thing about our group, isn't even a teacher to begin with and has never worked in a kindergarten or with children before.
 
The day, for me was finally over but not my tension and apprehension.
When the parents came to pick their children up in the afternoon, Stfn began shamelessly requesting them to keep their children at home if it was possible for them as the next day too the situation would be very much the same like today.

I continue to feel ashamed and indignant the way Stfn and Ndn took an extreme step without even the need. The situation was not an emergency. It was not impossible to handle as they declared that it was. They, together with the other teachers like Mks literally stripped the school down by discussing Mz and My affair with the parents. The parents are now laughing at us or holding us in contempt and sarcasm.
The stupidity of our teachers resulted in such chaos and confusion, not to mention so much of unnecessary trouble and botheration for the parents.

It would have been far better to let the children come in as usual without panicking about the teachers, to maintain a discreet silence on Mz and My matter, talk to all the teachers to decide what was best to do and merge the groups. To have somewhat larger groups would still have been better and fairly manageable rather than having a jungle group of thirty five and telling them to 'play whatever you want, wherever you want, whenever you want' The school had a total number of 55 children today and eight teachers. Even if 10 children groups were formed, or 15 or twenty, we would still have been able to handle them handsomely. What made them think we couldn't?
I am amazed! What are they made of? Jelly? They get cold feet if they have to manage meager 12-15 children alone? Eight teachers mean emergency and urgent closure of the school? Didn't they feel ashamed begging the parents to take back their children as they were unable to look after them? Give me fifty and I can look after all of them alone.

I am wondering how Stf receives this news....