Yesterday I noticed Jn to be looking somewhat gloomy. I went up to him and asked what was the matter. His answer ripped my heart!
"I am not happy here. I want to go to India - as soon as possible, where I can do what I want to do. This is no place for me. I don't belong here. I feel lost. Nobody understands me or my ways. I want to go to India forever and immerse myself in God's devotion.
"You want to go to India forever?"
"Yes. I want to denounce this world and become an ascetic...living in the forest without a home, eating only fruits and following God. Is there any place in India where I can get lots of fruits and live like this?"
"I am not sure. Probably you should go to the Himalayas; there are plenty of ascetics there who spend their lives just like this."
"I don't want to go to the mountains; they are cold. I want to go to Vrindavan or the south India. I am trying to obtain a visa of 6 months first and then it will be forever...probably this December....!"
His enthusiasm and sincerity is painfully touching. A half American-half German by birth, not yet thirty years old, a much educated, much traveled youth and used to western culture, luxury and comforts, his longing to find God, to go and live forever in a land which is in most repects completely different from his present world could shock him though and even throw him off guard.
I shudder to think what some money thirsty people can do to an unguarded simpleton like Jn who thinks he is capable of living in open air under the sky and above the earth. Initially I had thought that he wanted to follow Hinduism and felt anguished to see him denouncing food, keeping fasts and the likes. I tried explaining this to him that Hinduism doesn't mean this. It means finding God merely by means of true, selfless love and devotion. You don't have to denounce the world, your family, your food or even your everyday common comforts to find God; you only have to believe in Him and love him- that's all. But now I know that he wants to become an ascetic. It is his wish to denounce the whole world and live his life like hermit, a yogi or a sanyasi.
He is regarded with secret scorn by the other teachers and ridiculed oftener. I have seen people laugh at him albeit behind his back and even consider him abnormal. I wonder if he is aware of this. Whatever, it does require a good deal of courage and grit to follow an unbeaten track and I marvel at his sincerity, devotion and courage. He is far ahead than even some greater so called devotees of God. He only needs proper guidance. I pray to God to enlighten and guide him. I just do not want him to fall down in failure. I wish I could explain this to him that finding God is possible even here in Germany and in a teaching position.....but I do not want to cast a doubt in his mind regarding his decisions.
May God help him...!!!
"I am not happy here. I want to go to India - as soon as possible, where I can do what I want to do. This is no place for me. I don't belong here. I feel lost. Nobody understands me or my ways. I want to go to India forever and immerse myself in God's devotion.
"You want to go to India forever?"
"Yes. I want to denounce this world and become an ascetic...living in the forest without a home, eating only fruits and following God. Is there any place in India where I can get lots of fruits and live like this?"
"I am not sure. Probably you should go to the Himalayas; there are plenty of ascetics there who spend their lives just like this."
"I don't want to go to the mountains; they are cold. I want to go to Vrindavan or the south India. I am trying to obtain a visa of 6 months first and then it will be forever...probably this December....!"
His enthusiasm and sincerity is painfully touching. A half American-half German by birth, not yet thirty years old, a much educated, much traveled youth and used to western culture, luxury and comforts, his longing to find God, to go and live forever in a land which is in most repects completely different from his present world could shock him though and even throw him off guard.
I shudder to think what some money thirsty people can do to an unguarded simpleton like Jn who thinks he is capable of living in open air under the sky and above the earth. Initially I had thought that he wanted to follow Hinduism and felt anguished to see him denouncing food, keeping fasts and the likes. I tried explaining this to him that Hinduism doesn't mean this. It means finding God merely by means of true, selfless love and devotion. You don't have to denounce the world, your family, your food or even your everyday common comforts to find God; you only have to believe in Him and love him- that's all. But now I know that he wants to become an ascetic. It is his wish to denounce the whole world and live his life like hermit, a yogi or a sanyasi.
He is regarded with secret scorn by the other teachers and ridiculed oftener. I have seen people laugh at him albeit behind his back and even consider him abnormal. I wonder if he is aware of this. Whatever, it does require a good deal of courage and grit to follow an unbeaten track and I marvel at his sincerity, devotion and courage. He is far ahead than even some greater so called devotees of God. He only needs proper guidance. I pray to God to enlighten and guide him. I just do not want him to fall down in failure. I wish I could explain this to him that finding God is possible even here in Germany and in a teaching position.....but I do not want to cast a doubt in his mind regarding his decisions.
May God help him...!!!
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