Yesterday, S decided I must inform Stf about my impending resignation.
I went to sleep with a heavy heart. I love this school. Well, I have always loved every school I have ever worked in and every school has been special to me in its own way. Yet, this is one is decidedly different from the others in the past in more ways than one..! Especially right now, the school is undergoing a terribly critical phase. Leaving at this point almost translates to forsaking someone in need. Not that Stf needs me as anything more than a teacher. However acute the problem of finding trained teachers could be, someone will be found to replace me. It's not the end of the world either for her or for me. If I know Stf, she might even become infuriated with me for wanting to leave at this time. When Stfn had informed her about her desire to leave she had become so angry with her that she refused even to look at her or acknowledge her cordial greetings for several days.
As yet I do not even know when shall be my last day. S had resigned from his present company immediately after Easter and has to serve a notice period of 2-3 months accordingly shifting his joining date in his new company which is in the north west of Germany. There are chances of receiving a new negotiation offer from his present company or even finding another job offer in this city itself which shall make us stay here and I can continue in this school without a change.
Today I went to school poised yet deeply apprehensive about how to break this news. I wanted to tell Stf first before any other in the school. Since last Saturday I had been getting a strange sharp intermittent pain in my sides which I had dismissed as simple gas pain or period pain. Last Thursday the day we had meeting and I was so troubled, my stress resulted in starting my cycle just after 5 days! It had never happened to me before and I was so scared. My gynec did and ultra sound and found everything was okay. "Do you have stress? Sometimes stress causes sudden start of periods." He told me.
Well, today since morning I was getting the side pain, even then I decided to go to school as these days Stfn is absent due to her grand mother's critical health.
Mk and Nd were back to school after their workshop.
"How is Stfn? She hasn't come since last Friday." I asked Mk. Stfn and Ndn live together and because Ndn is Mk's girlfriend, the three know practically everything about each other. They are also great friends together.
"There is a sad news. She won't come this whole week."
"Her grandmother....?"
"Ya...!" He nodded quietly. "She passed away on Sunday. Don't tell this to anyone yet."
"And I might have a bad news to give too." I whispered.
"Are you going to leave?"
"I might. Nothing is certain yet."
"Oh..." He sighed understandably assimilating the whole situation in one single stroke. He appeared to be thinking 'Everyone is leaving. She too.There won't be anyone left in the school.'
"And I don't want to leave. I love this school..." I broke down. He came forward and hugged me to comfort me understanding the full depth of my emotions.
I disengaged myself and cautioned him not to tell this to anyone.
"You know I won't."
"Yes," I smiled wiping my tears with the tissue he handed me. "I know, you won't."
Asy had already come in and together we did the morning circle somehow. I was hoping the pain would subside but instead it was getting worse and I had begun wincing now and then. My face was distorted with pain and I felt I couldn't stand or walk now. Asy was so frightened. She told me to go home. Tn would come and take care of the group along with her. So I came off. All the teachers looked so concerned and worried for me.
I went to change my shoes and met Ndn there. She gave me forty Euros.
"What's this?"
"Stfn gave this to me to give to you. You had lent her some money, you remember?"
"Ah.., okay. But that was fifty Euros. Doesn't matter."
"I don't know. She gave me only this. I shall tell her."
"I heard about her grandmother." Said I. Everyone was asking me about her. I didn't know so I told them that her grand mother is very ill."
"Oh, you told them? Stfn didn't want to divulge this information in school, just that she was ill."
"Oh, I am so sorry. She didn't tell me she didn't want to tell anyone. Well, I haven't told anything specific."
Maybe the reason why she didn't want to tell about her grandmother's demise was because she has taken medical leave to attend her grandmother's last rites so that she doesn't have to take leave without pay. She should have told me so. I hope I don't get her in any trouble now. Stf might reduce her salary for this month or so....!
I went to sleep with a heavy heart. I love this school. Well, I have always loved every school I have ever worked in and every school has been special to me in its own way. Yet, this is one is decidedly different from the others in the past in more ways than one..! Especially right now, the school is undergoing a terribly critical phase. Leaving at this point almost translates to forsaking someone in need. Not that Stf needs me as anything more than a teacher. However acute the problem of finding trained teachers could be, someone will be found to replace me. It's not the end of the world either for her or for me. If I know Stf, she might even become infuriated with me for wanting to leave at this time. When Stfn had informed her about her desire to leave she had become so angry with her that she refused even to look at her or acknowledge her cordial greetings for several days.
As yet I do not even know when shall be my last day. S had resigned from his present company immediately after Easter and has to serve a notice period of 2-3 months accordingly shifting his joining date in his new company which is in the north west of Germany. There are chances of receiving a new negotiation offer from his present company or even finding another job offer in this city itself which shall make us stay here and I can continue in this school without a change.
Today I went to school poised yet deeply apprehensive about how to break this news. I wanted to tell Stf first before any other in the school. Since last Saturday I had been getting a strange sharp intermittent pain in my sides which I had dismissed as simple gas pain or period pain. Last Thursday the day we had meeting and I was so troubled, my stress resulted in starting my cycle just after 5 days! It had never happened to me before and I was so scared. My gynec did and ultra sound and found everything was okay. "Do you have stress? Sometimes stress causes sudden start of periods." He told me.
Well, today since morning I was getting the side pain, even then I decided to go to school as these days Stfn is absent due to her grand mother's critical health.
Mk and Nd were back to school after their workshop.
"How is Stfn? She hasn't come since last Friday." I asked Mk. Stfn and Ndn live together and because Ndn is Mk's girlfriend, the three know practically everything about each other. They are also great friends together.
"There is a sad news. She won't come this whole week."
"Her grandmother....?"
"Ya...!" He nodded quietly. "She passed away on Sunday. Don't tell this to anyone yet."
"And I might have a bad news to give too." I whispered.
"Are you going to leave?"
"I might. Nothing is certain yet."
"Oh..." He sighed understandably assimilating the whole situation in one single stroke. He appeared to be thinking 'Everyone is leaving. She too.There won't be anyone left in the school.'
"And I don't want to leave. I love this school..." I broke down. He came forward and hugged me to comfort me understanding the full depth of my emotions.
I disengaged myself and cautioned him not to tell this to anyone.
"You know I won't."
"Yes," I smiled wiping my tears with the tissue he handed me. "I know, you won't."
Asy had already come in and together we did the morning circle somehow. I was hoping the pain would subside but instead it was getting worse and I had begun wincing now and then. My face was distorted with pain and I felt I couldn't stand or walk now. Asy was so frightened. She told me to go home. Tn would come and take care of the group along with her. So I came off. All the teachers looked so concerned and worried for me.
I went to change my shoes and met Ndn there. She gave me forty Euros.
"What's this?"
"Stfn gave this to me to give to you. You had lent her some money, you remember?"
"Ah.., okay. But that was fifty Euros. Doesn't matter."
"I don't know. She gave me only this. I shall tell her."
"I heard about her grandmother." Said I. Everyone was asking me about her. I didn't know so I told them that her grand mother is very ill."
"Oh, you told them? Stfn didn't want to divulge this information in school, just that she was ill."
"Oh, I am so sorry. She didn't tell me she didn't want to tell anyone. Well, I haven't told anything specific."
Maybe the reason why she didn't want to tell about her grandmother's demise was because she has taken medical leave to attend her grandmother's last rites so that she doesn't have to take leave without pay. She should have told me so. I hope I don't get her in any trouble now. Stf might reduce her salary for this month or so....!
No comments:
Post a Comment